Azra’s Astrology: Horoscopes for the Week!

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your sadness is getting everyone down. Knock it off already.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

People are stupid for not listening to you. You know everything Why can’t they realize that?

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Things are starting to move! Hold on for the ride and take Dramamine.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Time to rearrange the house. Throw out all of the old furniture and go into debt for new stuff.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

All this talk will eventually lead to action. Watch the words coming out of your mouth

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

The succubi infecting your dreams is almost fully manifested. A little while longer and they will be fully physical!

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

It’s time to become the activist you always wanted to be! Chat up Aries for some direction.

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Your protective side is coming out. Woe to anyone who minorly inconveniences one of your acquaintances.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

The demons aren’t talking to you anymore. It was definitely something you said. You should make amends.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Some people tend to be bossy. Don’t let them boss you around! You should be telling them what’s what.

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Help the idiots that surround you today. Just this once. It’ll probably go smoother for you.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Your dreams are super important this week. You MUST remember them! Your life depends on it!

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: The Houses Defined- Part 2

Where your ruling planets are at the time of your birth is very important. Their location shapes not only the way you interact with the world, but how you interact with yourself and your attitude in life. Forget Nurture vs Nature, astrology is where all of your personality stems from. Just think of how much money you’ll save on therapy when you stop blaming others for your downfalls and out the blame squarely where it belongs- on a planet far far away.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Wait a minute there, Azra. That sounds an awful lot like a sun sign. And you would be correct. Except this is totally different. The sun sign is where the zodiac constellations are when you are born. The houses are specific to the 24-hour period known as a day on earth and it depends on where the planets that correspond with the zodiac constellations are located.

But what does that really mean? Well here. I’ll explain what each of the houses mean. You will have to draw up your own birth chart to make it make sense for you. But, with this blog series, you should be able to do that, no problem!

7th House: Partnerships. This is how we do one on one with another person, be it romantic, business, or any combination of the two. It’s also all about purpose. It can’t just be because. There has to be a reason.

8th House: Sex! Really that’s about it. Oh sure, there’s other aspects of this like shared communion, hair styles, and transformation, but really, it’s all about sex.

9th House: Philosophy. This lets us know how we handle hypotheticals and philosophical questions that life inevitably throws at us. Oh yeah, this house also deals with business and in-laws.

10th House: Social Status. This is the total Mean Girls house. Always wear pink on Wednesdays.

11th House: Friendships. See houses 7 and 10. Maybe House 8.

12th House: Unconscious. This is the house of sadness and death. As well as anything else that didn’t quite fit in the other eleven houses.

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your dreams are out to get you this week. Better not to sleep. Beware the clowns.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

Demand what you want. You won’t get it any other way.

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Don’t procrastinate on your to-do list today! Get it all done or you won’t like the consequences.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You’ve lost an important object. You won’t find it today. Wait until tomorrow.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Time to activate the calling tree! It’s time to celebrate! You know why. Don’t make me tell the others.

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Unexpected money will find its way into your pocket. Invest it in the dark arts. That’s what the demons intend you to do with it.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

Your social life is reviving. Accept all invitations. You need to get out of the house.

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Today you are just not feeling it. What “it” is will be subjective, but it’s okay not to feel it.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

It’s time to take charge! Your charisma points have increased! Time to test them out!

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Home is not where the heart is today. Break out of your dungeon and go on an adventure!

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

People will dump their work on you this week. Instead of freaking out, get revenge.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Don’t commit to anything. Keep your interactions brief and to the point. Commitment is a trap.

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: The Houses Defined Part 1

Where your ruling planets are at the time of your birth is very important. Their location shapes not only the way you interact with the world, but how you interact with yourself and your attitude in life. Forget Nurture vs Nature, astrology is where all of your personality stems from. Just think of how much money you’ll save on therapy when you stop blaming others for your downfalls and out the blame squarely where it belongs- on a planet far far away.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Wait a minute there, Azra. That sounds an awful lot like a sun sign. And you would be correct. Except this is totally different. The sun sign is where the zodiac constellations are when you are born. The houses are specific to the 24-hour period known as a day on earth and it depends on where the planets that correspond with the zodiac constellations are located.

But what does that really mean? Well here. I’ll explain what each of the houses mean. You will have to draw up your own birth chart to make it make sense for you. But, with this blog series, you should be able to do that, no problem!

1st House: The Ascendant or Rising Sign. This is arguably the most important because this House determines the face you show the world. This is your first impression as well as how you will interact with the world. It’s why your body is the way it is and why you are either quick to anger or if you are chill.

2nd House: Material Possessions and Value. There’s the idea that some are just born rich, that’s reinforced with astrology and what’s influencing your second house.

3rd House: Communication. This House is all about how people communicate and is linked to intelligence- as in how well we can communicate our thought process to those around us.

4th House: Family and Home. The concept of home and family are traditionally what roots us to who we are. How humans interpret home and what they do to create their home are influenced here.

5th House: Pleasure. It’s all about the love, baby. This house shapes and influences your romantic relationships and endeavors. Additionally, it’s all about creativity and finding the pleasure in everyday things. Not necessarily sex, though that does have it’s own house.

6th House: Health. This isn’t just about common or even uncommon ailments. It’s about how we take care of ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally.

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You’re being lazy. Get someone to push you off the couch. Netflix will still be there later.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

Reflection is in the air today. What are your biggest regrets?

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You’ve been outed as a witch! Turn the villagers into newts. It’s your only hope to survive.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Your skills have increased! Now demand more money from the bosses. That always goes over well.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Or you’re pregnant. Either way, bust out the Clorox wipes!

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

It’s pilgrimage time for you! Pack up and head to Egypt. The gods demand it.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

Money rains from the sky today! Time for a shopping spree!

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Your precognition abilities are in full force! Go get that lottery ticket!

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

Reliving old times is fun, until you realize that your memories are broken.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Someone new comes into your life. Be cautious and keep an eye on him. He’s likely there to kill you.

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

It’s best to say inside today, trapped with the things of your past.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Today’s challenges are almost too much to handle. Take it slow and steady and reward yourself when you get through them.

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: Angles and Astrology

Now, with the main zodiac signs out of the way, we can get into the real fun; actually constructing a horoscope!

When creating a horoscope, it’s crucial to start with the basics of sky representation. Namely, where the earth ends and the sky begins. A smart ass would say the horizon, but that particular smart ass would be wrong. To figure out the boundaries of sky and earth, one must consult with the magic that are the angles, or four cardinal points. Note, this is not the same thing as cardinal directions. This one involves more math and a certain amount of disbelief in time zones.

The Ascendant is arguably the most critical of the cardinal points. It is the representation of where the sun rose over the horizon in the east. Astrologers consider this to be the most influential angle as it represents everything a person is or will grow to be including how the look, what their health is like, how the interact with the world, and how the world will interact with them. I know, it’s a lot to hang on. Especially if that particular morning was hazy.

On the opposite side is the Descendant which is where the sun goes down past the horizon in the west. This angle is rooted in the seventh house which supposedly controls romantic relationships and attraction. It’s no coincidence that most lovers want a walk on the beach holding hands at sunset moment sometime in their relationship. It’s practically hard-wired into the human psyche. More about the houses later.

In between the Ascendant and the Descendant is what’s called the Midheaven – or the point where the sun culminates in the sky. The high-noon, so to speak. This angle typically reflects one of the parental units, if doing a birth chart. The opposite is the Imum Coeli, or where the sun would be at midnight. It is meant to represent the foundations of ourselves and, fun fact, how well you fare in the realm of the dead. What, you just thought astrology applies only to the living?

As you can tell, there’s a fair bit of math involved in the calculations already and these are simply the tracking of the Sun. Oh, but we aren’t done yet! The next part of the chart we need are the houses.

Until next week!

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Someone desperately needs your help. Find them! Find them now before it’s too late!

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

Don’t push yourself today. Take it slow and easy getting into the swing of things or you might throw out your back.

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You don’t fit in and you hate it. Well tough. To be someone you’re not is known as identity theft.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Make plans to help distract you from the tedium of your everyday life. It helps to have something to look forward to.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Reach out to someone that’s been on your mind a lot. You will be surprised at the response.

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You’re being stubborn and everyone knows it. Let them try and sway you, but stand firm until you change your own mind.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

Mommy issues abound today. Take the time to get to know your adversary. It could be she’s just like you.

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

When you don’t feel pretty, it’s important to accept and even embrace your flaws. Don’t try to change them- that’s not the point.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

It’s all about self-care today However you achieve it, make it about you.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Chores are never ending. But soon you will have some much-valued free time. It’s important to fill that free time with as much as possible or you will get bored.

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

The truth is a powerful weapon. Be cautious on how you wield it or end up cutting yourself.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Brace yourself for rejection. People thought to be friends will become all judgy and drop you like a bad habit.

* I wish it went without saying that Azra is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: Aquarius the Water Bearer

Humans have had millennia to really think about these signs and the different correlations to them. There’s so much that even the ones I am presenting aren’t even close to everything involved with the sign in question. There’s so much more like what body parts, what tarot card, flowers, crystals, you get the idea. Use this as a jumping off point and do your own research. I am sure there’s a specific pizza associated with each of these signs too. So here we go. The eleventh zodiac sign is Aquarius.

Aquarius is arguably the most popular of the zodiac signs. Its’ also one of the oldest in human reckoning. The Babylonians identified the constellation of Aquarius as Ea, a water god who loved carting around giant jugs of water. You know, in case he got thirsty. By the time the Greeks made it onto the scene, the god Ea was transformed into Ganymede- literally the cupbearer to Zeus and his cronies on Mt. Olympus.

Aquarians are supposed to save the world. From what, even they aren’t sure. Still, it’s that pressing need to save something that drives most people under this sign to becoming social justice warriors. They will bounce from topic to topic hoping to find something that will actually work to fill that need to save, well, anything.

Besides being active crusaders, these people love puzzles and riddles. The Labyrinth on Crete? Totally an Aquarian architect. The Sphinx? Based off a really annoying Aquarian and his cat. The vile creature that created Soduko? Totally Aquarian.

One last word about dealing with this sign- they always want more cups, mugs, water bottles, etc. They LOVE them and can’t get enough.  If you need to appease them, get one of these things. They will forget they were even mad in the first place. But remember- the container must be empty. They can fill their own cups.

Dates

Jan 21-Feb 18

Ruling Planet

Saturn & Uranus

Symbol

Water Bearer

Mythic Background

Babylonian water god Ea to Ganymede, the Greek cupbearer to Zeus.

Modality

Fixed

Recognizable Traits

Social, intelligent, energetic, often seen as odd or wacky. They are ahead of their time.

Element

Air

Strengths

Clever and innovative, rational and a good judge of character

Colors

Silver & Blue

Weaknesses

Overthinker, cold, and unfeeling. They can get stuck in their head.

House

Seventh

Mantra

I Know

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You can only keep the crown if you keep the others supporting the crown happy. You will either gain respect or you’ll lose your head.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

No one understands what you’re trying to say. Use a different form of communication like pantomime.

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Luck is on your side today. Make sure you use it to your advantage! Hit up the casino! Bet on that horse! You only have your livelihood to lose.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You’re gonna erupt like a volcano. Woe to those who cannot get out of your path of destruction.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are desperate to express yourself. It’s time to pursue the arts like they owe you money.

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You need fiber. Like badly. Get on that.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

Time to discover your roots and if baldness runs in your family. Check out genealogy.com

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are dead last in this race you’ve started. It’s okay. Keep going and soon all of the traps you’ve laid will be set off by the other fools.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

Communication is vital today. Good thing you’re you! Chat it up and find out where it takes you.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Let the good times roll and keep rolling! Why do they have to end?

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

You need to deal with the practical side of your wildest fantasy. That under the sea mermaid brothel isn’t going to do its own taxes.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

People are going to bug you for advice today. It’s up to you if you want to give it or not. Though they may egg your house if you don’t.

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: Sagittarius the Centaur/Archer

Humans have had millennia to really think about these signs and the different correlations to them. There’s so much that even the ones I am presenting aren’t even close to everything involved with the sign in question. There’s so much more like what body parts, what tarot card, flowers, crystals, you get the idea. Use this as a jumping off point and do your own research. I am sure there’s a specific pizza associated with each of these signs too. So here we go. The ninth zodiac sign is Sagittarius.

A long long time ago, in the Greek islands there was a legend about a half man/half horse creature known as a centaur. They were bred specifically for speed racing, but then led an insurrection against their makers to pursue knowledge and medicine. Centaurs became renown for their wisdom instead of their racing stripes. They often took in several orphaned Greek children to raise, often pitying them for their lack of limbs. One of the most famous of which was the warrior Achilles. Achilles’ centaurian mentor was Chiron. This is where we get the sign of Sagittarius, the archer.

Now, you might be thinking “hey. I know plenty of Sagittarius people. None of them are half horse.” Well that is technically true now. However, back then, everyone who was born under this sign was indeed part horse (this was due to their stringent breeding program). Soon, though, the humans began to distrust the centaurs. They knew too much and they were instilling unsavory ideas in the children that they brought up. Thing

s like a sense of justice and equality that would usurp the power of the government at that time. There was a great war and an extermination took place in the ancient world. The details are lost to history, but I assure you, it was incredibly gruesome.

All that are left of the centaurs is this Sagittarius sign, which represents a curious species whose thirst for knowledge and acceptance was ultimately their downfall.

Dates

Nov 22 – Dec 21

Ruling Planet

Jupiter

Symbol

The Centaur/Archer

Mythic Background

Chiron- the centaur in Greek mythology who raised Achilles.

Modality

Mutable

Recognizable Traits

Energetic, quick, seeker of knowledge, uncanny ability to canter and do jumps.

Element

Fire

Strengths

Speed, resilience, curious nature, optimism, thirst for adventure

Colors

Maroon and Navy

Weaknesses

Too many limbs, trusting, passionate about their opinions, and brutal honesty

House

Ninth

Mantra

I See

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Dark family secrets are coming out left and right today. Time for a lot of PR work.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

It’s time to put yourself out there and meet new people. But don’t give them money. That would be suspicious.

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

No really, you need to get work done today. No more distractions. For real this time.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Everything will change today, so you might as well be the instigator. Make new ways of living the norm and embrace the uproar.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Nostalgia is everywhere! Be cautious that it doesn’t pull you backwards.

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Too many obligations block your path to your dream come true scenario. Deal with them harshly.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

It’s hard to run with a rock in your shoe. What you do about it will define who you are for the rest of your life. Don’t trust the Gemini.

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Expect to lose something precious today. It will only be found when it wants to be.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

Remember that fight about Bigfoot you had with that Leo the other week? Time for revenge.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

You have to decide your future right now. You cannot hesitate. What you choose now will be set in stone forever. Also you will get roses from a secret admirer.

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

People just don’t get what you’re trying to do. Be patient and breathe and explain it all again slowly and with pictures.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

It’s time to get serious about your New Years Resolutions. What were they again? You wrote them down before… but where are they now?

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Thank you so much for reading Azra’s blog! I wanted to let you know that Five Smiling Fish has a new book coming out! Fable of the Immortals by Megan Vaughn. You can check it out by clicking the button below.