Azra’s Astrology: Horoscopes for the Week!

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

Your sadness is getting everyone down. Knock it off already.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

People are stupid for not listening to you. You know everything Why can’t they realize that?

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Things are starting to move! Hold on for the ride and take Dramamine.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Time to rearrange the house. Throw out all of the old furniture and go into debt for new stuff.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

All this talk will eventually lead to action. Watch the words coming out of your mouth

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

The succubi infecting your dreams is almost fully manifested. A little while longer and they will be fully physical!

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

It’s time to become the activist you always wanted to be! Chat up Aries for some direction.

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Your protective side is coming out. Woe to anyone who minorly inconveniences one of your acquaintances.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

The demons aren’t talking to you anymore. It was definitely something you said. You should make amends.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Some people tend to be bossy. Don’t let them boss you around! You should be telling them what’s what.

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

Help the idiots that surround you today. Just this once. It’ll probably go smoother for you.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Your dreams are super important this week. You MUST remember them! Your life depends on it!

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: The Houses Defined Part 1

Where your ruling planets are at the time of your birth is very important. Their location shapes not only the way you interact with the world, but how you interact with yourself and your attitude in life. Forget Nurture vs Nature, astrology is where all of your personality stems from. Just think of how much money you’ll save on therapy when you stop blaming others for your downfalls and out the blame squarely where it belongs- on a planet far far away.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Wait a minute there, Azra. That sounds an awful lot like a sun sign. And you would be correct. Except this is totally different. The sun sign is where the zodiac constellations are when you are born. The houses are specific to the 24-hour period known as a day on earth and it depends on where the planets that correspond with the zodiac constellations are located.

But what does that really mean? Well here. I’ll explain what each of the houses mean. You will have to draw up your own birth chart to make it make sense for you. But, with this blog series, you should be able to do that, no problem!

1st House: The Ascendant or Rising Sign. This is arguably the most important because this House determines the face you show the world. This is your first impression as well as how you will interact with the world. It’s why your body is the way it is and why you are either quick to anger or if you are chill.

2nd House: Material Possessions and Value. There’s the idea that some are just born rich, that’s reinforced with astrology and what’s influencing your second house.

3rd House: Communication. This House is all about how people communicate and is linked to intelligence- as in how well we can communicate our thought process to those around us.

4th House: Family and Home. The concept of home and family are traditionally what roots us to who we are. How humans interpret home and what they do to create their home are influenced here.

5th House: Pleasure. It’s all about the love, baby. This house shapes and influences your romantic relationships and endeavors. Additionally, it’s all about creativity and finding the pleasure in everyday things. Not necessarily sex, though that does have it’s own house.

6th House: Health. This isn’t just about common or even uncommon ailments. It’s about how we take care of ourselves emotionally, physically and mentally.

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You’re being lazy. Get someone to push you off the couch. Netflix will still be there later.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

Reflection is in the air today. What are your biggest regrets?

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

You’ve been outed as a witch! Turn the villagers into newts. It’s your only hope to survive.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

Your skills have increased! Now demand more money from the bosses. That always goes over well.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

Cleanliness is next to godliness. Or you’re pregnant. Either way, bust out the Clorox wipes!

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

It’s pilgrimage time for you! Pack up and head to Egypt. The gods demand it.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

Money rains from the sky today! Time for a shopping spree!

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Your precognition abilities are in full force! Go get that lottery ticket!

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

Reliving old times is fun, until you realize that your memories are broken.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Someone new comes into your life. Be cautious and keep an eye on him. He’s likely there to kill you.

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

It’s best to say inside today, trapped with the things of your past.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Today’s challenges are almost too much to handle. Take it slow and steady and reward yourself when you get through them.

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.

Azra’s Astrology: Aquarius the Water Bearer

Humans have had millennia to really think about these signs and the different correlations to them. There’s so much that even the ones I am presenting aren’t even close to everything involved with the sign in question. There’s so much more like what body parts, what tarot card, flowers, crystals, you get the idea. Use this as a jumping off point and do your own research. I am sure there’s a specific pizza associated with each of these signs too. So here we go. The eleventh zodiac sign is Aquarius.

Aquarius is arguably the most popular of the zodiac signs. Its’ also one of the oldest in human reckoning. The Babylonians identified the constellation of Aquarius as Ea, a water god who loved carting around giant jugs of water. You know, in case he got thirsty. By the time the Greeks made it onto the scene, the god Ea was transformed into Ganymede- literally the cupbearer to Zeus and his cronies on Mt. Olympus.

Aquarians are supposed to save the world. From what, even they aren’t sure. Still, it’s that pressing need to save something that drives most people under this sign to becoming social justice warriors. They will bounce from topic to topic hoping to find something that will actually work to fill that need to save, well, anything.

Besides being active crusaders, these people love puzzles and riddles. The Labyrinth on Crete? Totally an Aquarian architect. The Sphinx? Based off a really annoying Aquarian and his cat. The vile creature that created Soduko? Totally Aquarian.

One last word about dealing with this sign- they always want more cups, mugs, water bottles, etc. They LOVE them and can’t get enough.  If you need to appease them, get one of these things. They will forget they were even mad in the first place. But remember- the container must be empty. They can fill their own cups.

Dates

Jan 21-Feb 18

Ruling Planet

Saturn & Uranus

Symbol

Water Bearer

Mythic Background

Babylonian water god Ea to Ganymede, the Greek cupbearer to Zeus.

Modality

Fixed

Recognizable Traits

Social, intelligent, energetic, often seen as odd or wacky. They are ahead of their time.

Element

Air

Strengths

Clever and innovative, rational and a good judge of character

Colors

Silver & Blue

Weaknesses

Overthinker, cold, and unfeeling. They can get stuck in their head.

House

Seventh

Mantra

I Know

Aquarius

(Jan 20 – Feb 18)

You can only keep the crown if you keep the others supporting the crown happy. You will either gain respect or you’ll lose your head.

Leo                        (Jun 23 – Aug 22)

No one understands what you’re trying to say. Use a different form of communication like pantomime.

Pisces              (Feb 19 – Mar 20)

Luck is on your side today. Make sure you use it to your advantage! Hit up the casino! Bet on that horse! You only have your livelihood to lose.

Virgo                   (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

You’re gonna erupt like a volcano. Woe to those who cannot get out of your path of destruction.

Aries                (Mar 21 – Apr 19)

You are desperate to express yourself. It’s time to pursue the arts like they owe you money.

Libra                     (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

You need fiber. Like badly. Get on that.

Taurus          (Apr 20 – May 20)

Time to discover your roots and if baldness runs in your family. Check out genealogy.com

Scorpio                    (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

You are dead last in this race you’ve started. It’s okay. Keep going and soon all of the traps you’ve laid will be set off by the other fools.

Gemini         (May 21 – Jun 20)

Communication is vital today. Good thing you’re you! Chat it up and find out where it takes you.

Sagittarius            (Nov 22 – Dec 21)

Let the good times roll and keep rolling! Why do they have to end?

Cancer          (Jun 21 – Jul 22)

You need to deal with the practical side of your wildest fantasy. That under the sea mermaid brothel isn’t going to do its own taxes.

Capricorn            (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

People are going to bug you for advice today. It’s up to you if you want to give it or not. Though they may egg your house if you don’t.

* I wish it went without saying that this is a work of fiction. Please do not take it seriously.