The Superstition Mountains and the Elvis Chapel (Copy)

East of Phoenix is the mountain range of legend. A place of Apache legend, lost gold, and Elvis. 

The Superstitions were once thought by the Apaches to contain a hole to the underworld (which may be why a retirement community was built so close to it). The range is beautiful and popular with hikers, for reasons I will never get. People die or disappear on those hikes all the time. I think it’s the rattlesnakes. They’re more devious than people realize. 

Okay, it’s probably not the rattlesnakes. It’s probably the ghost. That’s right - I said ghost.  

The most famous tale of the mountains (and the main reason so many people get lost up there) is that of the Lost Dutchman Mine. Jacob Waltz (who was German not Dutch but whatever) died in 1891 claiming her had discovered a crud-ton of gold in them thar hills. Gold which no one has ever found. Dun dun duuuuuunnnnn! 

This story is so popular that there is an entire pioneer museum dedicated to it. Okay, the museum is really about the history/geology of the mountains, must most people go for the Lost Dutchman exhibit or the Elvis Chapel.

I kid you not. The museum includes several buildings and equipment from the mining town days of Apache Junctuon, this little white church was moved to the museum strictly because of the role it played in the film Charro! If you go, you may pray as much as you wish to a cardboard cutout of the King of Rock and Roll. If you show true reverence he may grant you a pair of new blue suede shoes.

Both the mountains and the Chapel will play a roll in a new upcoming book from FSF Publications .

Fable's Antique Road Show #4

Welcome again to Todd Mandel’s social media attempt. If you are watching this then you can probably guess that I’m not Todd and if you are listening to this on the podcast, I’ll just clarify for you that I’m the host, Fable Skelly, not Todd. And this is a really weird idea where I look at people’s old junk and tell them what I know so they can hope for a cash payout from some other organization with money.

But not your item, Mrs. . . . Doe, was it? I’m sure you’ve brought us something that’s not junk. For those of your watching this, you might be confused by me talking to a space off camera. Our Mrs. Doe has chosen not to be filmed. Or seen apparently. Where did you find that hat with a veil? I didn’t think they made those any longer?

Oh! Okay. I will mind my own business. Fine. Rude. But I guess fair, since I was rude first. Let’s get this over with. What did you bring us. Oh! Oh, wow. This is worth something? This is what is generally known as a poison ring, probably from the seventeenth century and it’s in excellent shape. The stone doesn’t even have any wear and the hinge that open still works. The little chamber under the stone is pretty filthy. Some kind of dust in there, I think. But know, these rings usually weren’t used for poison. Most of the time people kept religious relics or bit of hair of a loved one and-

What’s that Mrs. Doe? You want to know what the dust is inside this one? I’m not a chemist. I’m a teenage girl. Okay. No need for name calling. Yes, it might be leftover poison or it could be powder from a piece of saint bone or it could just be dust.

Mrs. Doe, you seem to be very interested in the killing properties of this ring and you’ve come to us under an assumed name AND you’ve covered your face. Forgive me for being blunt, however, could it be that you’re planning a murder?

Oh! Also rude. That’s a lot of swearing. Todd, can we have all that swearing on this? Oh, we’re live so it can’t be helped. Okay.

Oh and she’s gone. Yes, I suppose we should call the police. At least she left behind the ring with the Cantarella in it. Oh! Of course it’s a poison. I do know my poisons, but Mrs. Doe didn’t need to know that.

Fable's Antique Road Show #3

Todd, stop waving your hand at me like that! It’s rude! Fine so we’re filming. So what? Riley, don’t frown at me like that. I’m just doing this to get extra credit in history class. Ugh! Fine. Hi. Hello. Welcome to another episode of what is clearly a stolen concept. I’m your host, Fable Skelly, the teenager who knows weirdly too much about old stuff for reasons I can’t say on the air. With me are the shows creator, producer, director, and editor, Todd Mandel, Mr. Richie, our guest for this episode, and Riley Carter, who is my ride.

Mr. Richie, what did you bring for us today? I know you said on the phone that it’s been in your family since they came over as colonists in the 1700s and you still use it regularly today for green beans at Thanksgiving. Let’s see . . . Oh my.

For those of you listening to this on the podcast, Mr. Richie has just presented a deep pewter bowl with a small handle and he is correct. It is from the eighteenth century. However, my first note is this. Stop putting food in a pewter dish. It’s really not healthy.

Didn’t your ancestors put food in it? Nope probably not. By this time, a lot of people had rediscovered how harmful lead poisoning is. Yes. I said lead poisoning. That’s what pewter is.

But you also probably don’t want to be eating out of this because it’s a bleeding dish. Nope. For human blood. Doctors used to think that in order to make a sick person well, you had balance the liquids in the body and get rid of infected blood. If they weren’t using leeches, doctors would cut open your arm, lay it on a dish like this, and just let you bleed out of a while. Why do you look so green?

Todd? Riley? Why are you looking at me like that too? It’s not like this shit was my idea. I’m just telling you what it was used for. This was a normal part of life. A horrible, horrible, normal part of life. Why do you think the age expectancy was so low? It’s not just because people didn’t eat their veggies!

But, good news for you, Mr. Richie. This is probably worth something. Oh. You need to clean out some of this green bean residue first. Doesn’t your family wash dishes after Thanksgiving?

Fable's Antique Road Show #2

Welcome to this new episode of my friend Todd’s ridiculous social media show that’s clearly a rip off of a well-established PBS television program. And now Todd is giving me a dirty look. I’m your host, Fable Skelly, a perfectly average teenager who has no connections to historical artifacts at all. None. What-so-ever. Totally normal here.

Today’s guest is Ms. Reynolds bringing the jewelry box she bought in an estate sale. She’s asking for identification of the unusual material of these various pieces. Let’s take a look. For those of you you are listening to this on the accompanying poocast . . . What? Oh. Podcast. If you’re listening to this one the “pooooodcast” this is mainly brown in color. The chains on these bracelets and necklaces are very thick, made of soft fibers woven together and -

And this is human hair. Yeah. I’m going to put that down now. You see, Ms. Reynolds, although you are correct in making that face at me, it was super boring if you were upperclass and Victorian. Women would save the hair from their brushes and made it into artwork. Usually they did this with the hair of their loved ones after they. . . died. Yes. Some this could be dead people hair. No! No! It was a sign of remembrance and respect. And is super gross. Fair enough. Actually, these are very intricate and well done. They might be worth a little somethin- And she’s throwing them in the trash and leaving. The power of the gross was too much for her.

Todd, can you fish that out? I know it’s human hair, but it might be something sentimental like the hair of someone’s grandma or aunt. Or evil headmistress? What exactly do you think the Victorian Era was like? Nevermind! I don’t want to know.

Fable's Antiques Roadshow #1

Let’s get this over with. I’m Fable Skelly and this is some sort of antique show rip-off produced by teenagers. I am your host, Ms. I-Don’t-Want-To-Be-Here, and only feeling comfortable because public television doesn’t have the money to sue us. I have been volun-told into the role host because I’m the only one of us with an A in history (and I’m the only one who has actually lived through 3,000 years of history). Oh, you heard me say that last part? That was a joke. Obviously, a joke.

Today’s object being presented by Mrs. McGlory, neighbor to my friend Riley and a woman I have never been properly introduced to. Even now as I’m sitting her across from her and the camera rolls, no one has bothered to actually introduce her. And now my friend Todd is giving me the director’s glare so . . . moving on.

Mrs. McGlory, welcome to . . . whatever this is. Please do not let Todd whispering about lighting bother you. You look great and this lighting he’s created using hunting spotlight is not blinding me at all. And what have you brought for us to appraise today?

Oh. It’s an old bucket. I can tell you right now that is indeed a rather rusty bucket, probably from the late 1800s or early 1900s. This model was probably purchased locally and. . . What was that, Mrs. McGlory? You want to know about what’s inside the bucket? No problem. Let me just reach my hand in here and -

Ew! Gross. That’s an old corncob with - yep, some scraps from a farmer’s almanac. I need hand sanitizer. No, really, Todd, now or I’m going to throw up. Riley? Someone give me a wet wipe or something?

Thank you! Gross. Just gross.

Sorry, Mrs. McGlory, for the disgust. I assume you had family who were farmers or lived in a rural community? Yes. That’s what I thought. What you have here is essentially toilet paper for people who couldn’t afford toilet paper. No. I am not joking. To be perfectly fact with you your great-grandparents probably wiped their rear-end clean with that with that corn cob and threw it into the bucket when done. Now my question is, why the hell would they keep this for generations?

You still want to know if it’s worth anything? Not unless you want to get dna samples. Can I suggest throwing this away now?

And that’s, dear viewers, was pointless. Till Todd’s next social media streaming experiment, I’m Fable Skelly and this is a total waste of my time

Fable Preview 3

The final part of the preview has gone missing in a void of editing hell… Whoops.

Consider this picture a visual reference of a book in the midst of the editing process.

Fable Preview 1

Please excuse editing errors. This preview is from a first edit, not a final product.

Please comment below. 

To you reading this:

            Chances are you have been rummaging through your grandparent’s closet or shopping at a swap meet when you found this book.  That, or you are a rotten thief and I hope you get your comeuppance in whatever afterlife you believe in, you bastard.

            That having been said, allow me to explain a few things.  First, that the book you are currently reading and the volumes which follow chronicle what will be my last years on earth.  That’s right.  You’re reading a book by a now dead person.  Get over it.

            Second, because these are the last memories of my time alive and since I used the energy to write some of this stuff down, I’d appreciate it if you’d at least try to read it before tossing this book back into whatever shoebox you found it in.  I don’t know if in the future reading books has been deemed un-cool, but I’m sure if you’re spending your afternoon cracking the covers on old journals, you probably don’t have much of a social life anyway.

            Third, what you are about to read is true, with a little artistic license thrown in here and there for drama’s sake. I am storyteller, after all. I know you probably don’t believe in immortals, magic, or fairy tales. That’s fine. Not all of those things need your belief in order to exist. Not everything is about you, you know. That having been said, one of the reasons why I am writing this down is because sometimes you need people to question their reality just a bit. Not a whole hearted belief, but just question.

            The final reason I am writing this is because of Riley Carter. Understand that I hate him, but years from now there will be a moment when he tries to convince his annoying brats of his adventures (because I guarantee he will have kids when he grows up). And they won’t believe him, because what modern kid wouldn’t think they’re parent wasn’t just pulling their leg. So, here it is, future mini-Carters. A book to back-up your dad’s crazy stories. And if he did something stupid like name one of you after me, I deeply apologize.

Have a Nice Trip - See You Next Autumn

Throughout September and October, the Vaughn blogs are going to change-up in honor of that most wondrous of times - the celebration of Halloween.

Some of the blogs will be the In Defense Of theme of the fairy tale blogs, but will focus on ghost stories and horror movies.

The other half of the blogs will be a part of a shameless promotion of a new book coming from FSF Publications, Fable of the Immortals. The book takes place in Arizona at several locations with their own superstitions and creepy stories and there will be blogs about traveling to these spots.

*Side note: There isn't really Autumn in Phoenix. There's slightly cooler weather and by November the wildflowers start to die. If you have some way to send Autumn to us, please do. Most people here think it only exists in Hallmark movies and Joann craft stores.