Dear Azra,
I am about to host the first ever reunion for our family this month. I thought I was ready- I’ve got lodging for everyone, an activity program, and a food plan. But then everything fell apart. Not with anything I had planned, mind you. Rather with my family. All of a sudden a huge fight happened between my grandmother and my uncle. The details are unclear, but it has something to do with some property and a gang of raccoons. Whatever the details are, the family is now divided into two camps: my grandmother’s side and my uncle’s side. Both have called me and said they were coming to the reunion and made me promise to dis-invite the other. Now not only am I caught in the middle of what is going to be a massive family war, I am also playing hostess to the first major battle. Help!
Family Feud Victim
Dear Victim,
What is it with the idea of family reunions? All of the ones I’ve been involved with inevitably become a hot mess of bickering and paranoia which only increases the dread of the next forced family gathering. All in all, it is this angel’s idea of a terrible time, even without all the Hatfield vs McCoy drama that you have on your hands.
Still, have you thought about capitalizing on all of this threatened chaos? What I mean by that is if there’s going to be a fight, charge the public to come watch. Make it a real spectacle that everyone will want to witness first hand. Change your food plan to concession stands. Sacrifice the lodging budget to rent out the biggest venue you can find. Invest in an aggressive marketing campaign and street team to really promote this event. You have enough lead time on this to really generate a buzz.
When the time comes, arm your family members with the weapon of your choice; wooden swords, paint guns, rulers, dodgeballs, or cafeteria food. Lead them to the center of the venue with clip on mics and let them battle to the death.
I guarantee that the crowd will go wild! Plus you can profit from your family feud! Really, there’s nothing more American than that!
Put the fun back in dysfunction.
Azra