Dear Azra,
My wife’s great uncle just passed. We were contacted by his lawyers and they told us that he left his entire estate to my wife. While I don’t know exactly how much we are getting or what all the estate entails, I do know that it includes a mansion up in the hills. Any advice on how to adjust to my new life of luxury?
Thanks,
Rollin in Dough
Dear Rollin.
Obviously there is only one thing you can do when faced with such an abrupt shift in personal wealth. You are now a billionaire and you should quickly establish you eccentricity so you can fit in with the other billionaires. Quit your job. Like, immediately. You don’t need it and the limitations it places on you. Sell the home you are currently living in. Or, better yet, give it away! After all, you now have this rumored mansion in the hills to call home now. Plus it’s important to be benevolent to the little people who don’t have as much as you. Finally, and this is a BIG one, make your new social status known to EVERYONE. Take out ad space on the television, buy a billboard, blast it out on social media. Let them all bask in the glory of your new inheritance and wrestle with their jealousy.
Happy Windfalling,
Azra
***Disclaimer***Azra is not someone to take advice from. He’s not even human- he’s an exiled angel that gets his kicks dispensing horrible advice to people. Do not take his advice seriously. It is meant to be satirical and not to be taken literally.