The Good Place (A Chip Driver Mystery): Movies about Writing

I don’t want to give away the entire show of The Good Place (especially since this episode takes place in the final season), but I’m going to have to give away quite a bit to explain why I blogged this episode. Still, this to me is one of the best tv shows ever made and I encourage you to watch it.

Fair warning: spoilers ahead.

The Good Place is philosophical comedy about the afterlife and what it means to be a good person. Ted Danson plays Michael, an architect in charge of four humans named Tahani (Jameela Jamil), Jason (Manny Jacinto), Chidi (William Jackson Harper), and Eleanor (Kristen Bell). Helping them is Janet (D’Arcy Carden), an all knowing entity whose entire existence is based on being a go-fer in the afterlife.

The episode opens with a book. Michael is telling a story to a Bad Janet (also D’Arcy Carden) trying to prove that humans can improve themselves. A new group of humans are being used as unknowing guinea pigs in a human moral experiment and seems to be showing positive outcomes. Then Brent (Benjamin Koldyke), the worst of the three, announces that he has written a book and he wants Chidi, John (Brandon Scott Jones), and Simone (Kirby) to read it in two days before he does a signing. An afterlife signing. Apparently, that’s a thing.

Brent describe the book entitled “Six Feet Under Par: A Chip Driver Mystery” as “half-spy novel, half -murder mystery. It’s also half-submarine adventure, half-erotic memoir, and half- political thriller. It’s also half- golf tutorial and half- commentary on society”. Immediately, Simone, who has very little patience for Brent’s sexism, racism, classism, and a whole lot of other negative isms, is gleeful about making fun of this novel. Tahani suggests that they all be kind because Brent has been showing improvement and they should be the bigger people (since that’s exactly what she’s trying to make them into). Then she starts to read the book with Eleanor and Michael.

The love interest Scarlett Pakistan in the book is a cultural stereotype who looks like Tahani and is described as “Her brown eyes were as brown as the brownest crayon. She had legs like Jessica Rabbit from that movie”. Is it bad that I sometimes enjoy bad writing because it makes me feel relatively better about my own writing? Stop judging me! I never said I belonged in the Good Place!

Tahani is not the only human objectified and insulted by being a thinly veiled character in Brent’s book, making it difficult to get the others to be kind about the painfully terrible prose. Eleanor tries to get them to create subtle criticisms. This is a good lesson for anyone not wanting to hurt another person’s writer feelings. For example, pointing out that “just writing a book is an amazing accomplishment” and then following with a sandwich of what you like and what needs improvement. That’s what editing is for. It’s a pain in the butt, but thanks the gods for the editing process and the people willing to edit.

However, if someone writes a book that insults you and your beliefs and the author can’t respect that why you didn’t like it - rip them a new one. Yes, a book is a form of art, but if your art is hurtful to the people you claim to like, what is the point? And how can you be upset if they don’t like that you hurt them? That’s not art, that’s more about ego. Despite all of this, Eleanor and the others still want to help Brent become a better person.

And all of this ends back with Michael finishing his story about how people can be good.

The Murderer Lives at Number 21: Movies about Writing

Here’s a short one with spoilers galore - you have been warned.

The Murderer Lives at Number 21 is the 1942 directorial debut of Henri-Georges Clouzot and it’s. . . unusual. Not quite a comedy. Not quite a thriller. Not quite a horror story. One hundred percent French.

Wens, a detective on the hunt for a serial killer who leaves calling cards at every crime scene, goes undercover at a boarding house. His girlfriend, a struggling singer, also goes to live in the boarding house in an attempt to become famous by catching the killer (she’s hoping fame will equal more stage jobs). The boarding house is inhabited by a magician, a disgraced doctor, a bird calling servant, a creepy toy maker, a blind former boxer, his amorous nurse, and a struggling author.

The author is a “spinster” called Mademoiselle Cuq. She states that to be a writer, you don’t need inspiration you need discipline. She sits everyday in the parlor of the boarding house with a typewriter to finish her latest work despite constant rejections from publishers. I like her determination. When the murders continue, the lady thinks of turning the contemporary horrors into gothic tales of terror, changing the streets of Paris into a dusty castle. The detective’s girlfriend suggests that the author instead keeps the setting the same, having it take place in the boarding house. In truth the singer is trying to reveal that she’s aware that the killer is among them . . . however, it just ends up getting the author killed. Whoops.

L.A. Confidential: Movies about Writing

This one is going to be short because in the words of this film, “Something has to be done, but nothing too original, because hey, this is Hollywood.”

If you’ve never seen it, L.A. Confidential is a superb film based on the James Ellroy novel about three members of the LAPD in the 1950s all investigating the same conspiracies of corruption and murder. Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, and (blech) Kevin Spacey all play their roles well. The clues and characters are a gritty portrait of the world full of twists and turns.

That’s not what I’m going to write about though! One of the most sleazy characters of the tale is Sid Hudgens (played by Danny DeVito - despite the book portraying the same character as tall and thin). Sid is the writer and editor of a tabloid magazine called Hush Hush which gets scoops on all of the Hollywood dirt. As this journalistic rag is Sid’s livelihood, he is shown setting up his own supposedly true stories. Based on a rumor, Sid puts the right people in the wrong place by buying everyone off and making sure his men are there with flashbulbs. More than being a plain gross example of a human and a writer, Sid’s way with words is what ties together the sleaze, the deceptions, and the murders of the film.

Glynis: A Movies about Writing

I wrote this blog back in July of 2022, hoping someone could find this an episode of this show for me to watch.

I just found out that there was a Murder, She Wrote BEFORE Murder, She Wrote. In the 1960s Glynis Johns (you know, the mom from Mary Poppins) starred in a sitcom about a mystery writer married to a defense attorney and they solved crimes together! But all I can find of this show is a thirty second clip! Does anyone know if anything else of it exists? Is there any place to watch a full episode? If you do know, please leave comment below. Thanks for fueling my obsession.

Despite looking on my own, all I’ve still ever found besides the thirty second clip is a newspaper article reviewing the show from back in the day and this review from IMDB.com from someone with the handle rudy-30:

The worst case of laugh track abuse ever!

9 April 2008

Warning: Spoilers

Jess Oppenheimer must have been an optimist. His most successful production, "I Love Lucy", centered around a female wanting to make it big in her husband's career. Unfortunately, lightning doesn't always strike twice. Glynis Johns plays Glynis, a novice mystery writer married to a criminal defense attorney. Glynis finds herself involved in murders by accident, and of course, comes out in the end a winner. Her husband (a bland Keith Andes) is usually clueless, and instead of a female friend for Glynis, which would be too much of an obvious rip-off of "I Love Lucy"s premise, she has a retired policeman friend to rely on. The trouble with this show is the laugh track. Murder can be funny, when it's played straight, but the actors on the show seem confused; they don't know when to play for laughs or dramatic effect. So, you have a mish-mosh of comedy and drama, and that annoying laugh track doesn't help one bit. What is so funny about a schizophrenic murderess? Did anyone really laugh at Anthony Perkins in "Psycho"? I notice that Oppenheimer later got the mixture right when producing "Get Smart". It's a shame he didn't have the creative forces with him during "Glynis". The cast gave it their best efforts, though.

Event though nothing I have found makes it sound like I would actually enjoy this show, now that Glynis Johns (a favorite actress of mine from not only Mary Poppins, but The Court Jester with Danny Kaye) has passed away at the fantastic age of 100, I’m still curious. So again, if anyone knows where episodes are available to watch. let me know. Thanks.

Winter Love Story: Movies about Writing

Since I actually, kind of enjoyed Mistletoe Inn, I decided to try one more Hallmark movie about a writer. I regret my decision. Although, full disclosure I missed bits of the beginning.

Cassie (Jen Lilley) is the daughter of a celebrated novelist and Princeton professor. She has just published her own first book following her divorce, a romance memoir full of humor and real-life inspired feelings. Her publisher asks bestselling fantasy author Elliot (Kevin McGarry) to help Cassie with being comfortable doing book readings and signings. He agrees and the pair go on tour together along with Elliot’s adorable dog, Bungee. Blah blah blah, they fall in love, they have a misunderstanding, they end up together. Oops, did I spoil it?

First of all, in the scenes where Elliot’s books are being read out loud, they still sound like the style of a romance novel, just with a dragon written in. Then again, his audience did seem to be a lot of twenty-something women who wanted to jump his bones. At least the film was realistic in its decision to show that even published authors who aren’t bestsellers need to supplement their income by showing Cassie as a barista. However, she works in a small coffee shop owned by her roommate. Mom’s a famous author who gave her advice. She lives with her boss. Cassie’s life is a lot of near-nepotism. At least Cassie admits this and chooses not to use her mom’s last name on her own book.

The concept of the book tour itself is a tad cringe. Two almost strangers taking a road trip together while their “point people” make sure they have places to stay in each city felt a little too fancy for a publishing company to pay for. If they hadn’t constantly pointed out that Elliot was making the company LOTS of money, I would have been making psh sounds through the whole movie. Also, they appear on a morning show together. I would understand interviewing Elliot about his popular series, but what kind of strings did they have to pull to let Cassie talk about her book too? (She chokes by the way and Elliot tries to teach her about “public speaking”).

What I did like was that Elliot immediately read her book as a way to get to know her and have a better working relationship. Meanwhile, Cassie is just a snob about his work calling him the “dragon-writer” and sneering as she refers to his work as “nerd novels”. Then she keep apologizing right afterwards like a passive-aggressive “no offense” comment. She learns her lesson, but seriously rude!!!! Cassie is not a particularly likable character, complaining when her room at the bed and breakfast is tiny and acting all superior. Elliot is the best promoter, giving her opportunities that a publishing company would never give unless her books were selling like his. He even confesses to her that he has writer’s block and she says nothing helpful! You’re both writers! Be a writer and try to help the man!

By the last twenty minutes Cassie almost won me over. She finally started to give back professionally to Elliot and was excited to be trying new reading and writing topics. She takes initiative in her own career while appreciating the careers of other authors. AND YET SHE COULD NOT GET OVER THAT ELLIOT HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS EX-WIFE. Holy crap! He’s a better person than you. Deal with it.

Also, the dog needed more scenes.

Snowed Under: Movies about Writing

“Guess where I am!”

“Oh Arthur! Where are you?”

“I don’t know. It’s all covered in snow”

1936 was one of those years where Hollywood was just trying to release as many movies as they could like throwing spaghetti on a wall to see if it sticks. Snowed Under does not stick, but it has a few good bits, one-liners, and shows off the talents of many forgotten character actors. Mostly, it’s just tired shenanigans (yes, even in 1936 there were overused film stereotypes).

Alan Tanner (George Brent) has been struggling to rewrite the third act of his play which opens soon. His producer and friend, Arthur Layton (Porter Hall) asks Alan’s ex-wife Alice (Genevieve Tobin) to help him. It is suggested that at one time, the three of them were a great playwright- editor - producer trio and she agrees out of her friendship to Arthur. However, also showing up at Alan’s Connecticut cabin are his second ex-wife Daisy (played by the original tough girl Glenda Farrell), Daisy’s lawyer McBride (John Eldredge), a deputy/former milkman named Orlando (Frank McHugh), and Alan’s young love struck neighbor Pat (Patricia Ellis).

Daisy is demanding Alan be arrested for missing her alimony payments, Pat is declaring her undying love, and Alice just wants everyone to shut up so Alan and finish his work. Then, as the title suggests, the group is snowed in for the night and the shenanigans ensue.

What I did enjoy was the writing talk. Alice is clearly a professional and she writes half of the third act herself (without expecting credit because it’s the 1930s). Pat keeps insisting that Alan doesn’t need Alice and she could keep him writing, yet never does anything to prove this. And Daisy just wants the play finished so she can get paid. Still, there’s a great scene where Alice turns to Daisy (her rival and the reason for her divorce) and asks, “Would you do me a favor? Would you read what I’ve done to that third act and tell me what you think of it?” And Daisy grins happily at the woman who Alan was always comparing her to and responds, “I’d love to read it.”

As for Alan, he criticizes Alice’s work to the point that she tries to burn it. He says he does this to see if she really cared about what he had to say, but in truth I find it a simply awful moment in the film. It showed to me that he didn’t respect her talent. However, the entire thing ends in horseplay, Pat coming in to angrily confront Alan, and Alice just giddy that for once she gets to be the other woman. Lady, your ex-husband just tried to make it seem like your work as his editor and co-writer, is no good. Stay angry!

I could give insight into Alan’s writing. Honestly, with all the other chaos, he really does not do a lot of that.

Spoiler alert: Alan does give Alice credit in the end. Despite all of the tired tropes in this, I did not see that coming.

A Christmas Memory: Movies about Writing

Netflix. You need to learn to think for yourself. But no. You keep canceling some of your best shows in favor of spending money on Hallmark holiday ripoffs. Luckily, there’s still some class on streaming.

I found the 1997 version of A Christmas Memory by Truman Capote on Kanopy. Eric Lloyd (from the Santa Clause) plays young Capote in the form of Buddy who is excited for “fruitcake season” with his best friend/ spinster cousin Sook (Patty Duke). They send the cakes to everyone including F.D.R. For several years, Buddy has lived with the Southern cousins Sook, Callie, Seabone, and Jennie (Piper Laurie) (as well as a dog named Queenie and visits from a Cherokee housekeeper named Anna and a neighbor girl named Rachel - not Harper Lee, or is it, I’m not sure). Other than Sook, the cousins make snide comments make about his mother back in New York and his absentee father. Jennie worries that Buddy is not going up to be “a man” since he spends all of his time with Sook.

Despite the protests from the other three cousins, Jennie is determined to send Buddy away to military school. Still, Buddy and Sook go through their Christmas adventures of tree chopping, gift delivering, kite flying, and visiting bootleggers. In the end, Buddy is still sent away in hopes that the military school will give him a better education. It gives Sook opportunities to stand up to Jennie and both she and Buddy grow up a little. It’s kinda dark for a Christmas story.

I did also watch the 1966 version narrated by Capote himself which includes more of his fantastic descriptions, but depicts the Native bootlegger talks in broken English like a reject from a 1950s western. Buddy doesn’t go to military school on screen in that one either, just in an epilogue.

By the way, I know Truman Capote did go to military school, but I don’t know if the cousins sent him or his mother did. Either way, there is mention of Buddy’s future as a writer. He gives a notebook and pencil to Rachel so she can write down tall tales she tells about her family. And everyone talks about how they’ll miss hearing his “little stories”. And those little stories would someday be about them.

The Noel Diary: Movies about Writing

Netflix decided to jump on the cheesy Christmas special train a few years ago, but this was the first one I found about a writer.

Jacob Turner is a successful historical thriller novelist with his face pasted on buses and people coming to signings dressed as his characters. He lives with his dog Ava in a house full of pretentious trappings like French cinema, David Sedaris books, Nina Simone albums . . . aw, crap. I’d totally be friends with this shmuck. His mom, a hoarder, passes and Jake goes home for the first time in years to clear out her house. He reconnects with his favorite neighbor, Ellie, whose house he used to stay at when his mom was having “bad days”. Ellie points out how she can recognize characters from his books, especially the two based upon his parents. His father had not been around much after Jacob’s brother passed away in a childhood tree-related accident.

Unexpectedly, a lovely young woman name Rachel shows up on her door looking for her birth mother (Noel) who was Jacob’s childhood nanny. She’s looking for a job as a UN translator which is a great job. In fact, everyone in this has a great job! Rachel’s parents make their own jewelry, Ellie is an artist, and Ellie’s boyfriend is in a symphony orchestra. Does this world just have awesome jobs for all? Who collects the garbage?

The pair go on a road trip to find Jake’s dad, Scott, while reading Noel’s Diary which Scott found in a box. It’s a Christmas movie about look for a woman named Noel. Get it? Yep. Groan. While on their journey they watch It’s a Wonderful Life on an outdoor screen in the snow. It’s a lovely scene and all I could think was, “Cold. So cold.” Jacob works on his latest book while Rachel bonds with Ava the dog. Rachel reads the first book in Jake’s series, but waits to tell him until she’s finished for the plain and simple reason of “what if I didn’t like it”. She uses the book to psycho-analyze him, yet does still compliment him on the ending.

The film gets all dramatic as Jake reunites with his dad and they find Rachel’s mom. There’s a lot of commitment issues and “Say Anything” moments minus the boombox. This was a more serious movie than I was expecting. Still cheesy. Suuuuuper cheesy. Then I found out it was based on a Richard Paul Evans book. That makes sense. But at least one of the main characters was a fluffy dog!

Shaking my fist at Krampus

Yesterday was Saint Nicholas Day, when the immortal spirit of a Turkish bishop puts toys in kids’ shoes (or if you’re an adult - a Chompie’s Gift Card. Sometimes he’s accompanied by Black Pete, but I’m not going near that tradition. Other times, Krampus tags along in order to punish the naughty.

Whelp. I must’ve pissed Krampus off recently because I woke up to my car not starting, my work drive glitching, and my “lady time” being extra weird. What the hell, Krampus! I thought we were cool, man!

A Cinderella Story: A Christmas Wish: Movies About Writing

I love a good Cinderella story . . . And this . . . How do I be diplomatic?

Let’s just dive in. The Cinderella is played by Laura Marano, an actress from one of those Disney Channel shows where the kids all have to sing and/or dance). Kat (nope, not Ella) is an aspiring songwriter who is working on a crappy Christmas pop tune. Sorry. Sorry. Anyone who knows me knows that 12 years of retail killed most “popular” Christmas songs for me. I generally just stick to the soundtrack from Muppet Christmas Carol and the classics preferably sung by Ella Fitzgerald. I should warn all the songs in this are unbelievably auto tuned Which surprised me since the main actress was on a show where all they did was make her sing. OK, deep breath, as we dive in even further.

Kat works at a Christmas Santaland as a dancing, singing elf with her best friend. She is trying to save up money to move out of her stepmother’s house, but knows realistically she can’t until she gets her inheritance at the age of 18 (which is still several months away). Also working at Santaland in secret is Dominic Wintergarden (Gregg Sulkin). Yes. That is his name. His dad (billionaire who, spoiler alert, used to be best friends with Kat’s philanthropist father) Insist that his son dresses as Santa (it is family tradition). Oh yeah. They also own Santaland.

Even though having an eighteen year old play Santa is already awkward, Kat’s best friend starts calling him “hot Santa” and “sexy Santa”. At one point he and Kat even do weird striptease, Removing hats and fake ears in order to reveal who they truly are under the costumes. And that is about the point when I sped up the speed of the movie So I didn’t have to torture myself through all 85 minutes.

Can’t hold it in anymore. I’m sure many people worked very hard on this movie, but I was in physical pain watching parts of it. It wasn’t even just the corn ball. It was scenes like scenes silly striptease with Santa (look how cute we are Even though she’s technically under age, and you’re making jokes about removing clothing - Yes, I know the actors are in their 20s; it’s the thought of it in a kid’s movie not the reality) and a random duet between Kat and “prince charming” when all of the other songs were performances/part of Kat’s songwriting process. And then at the end, she breaks the forth wall right before the “big kiss” and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable! Don’t look directly at the camera before you make out! It’s creepy!

What I did like was that she and her best friend were both creatives who supported each other (her songwriting and her friend’s aspirations to be a costume designer). Her step-mother is super wicked. She kept feeding on Kat’s insecurities and keeping her down by telling her she’s never survive as a songwriter. I kept expecting the woman to harm Kat’s disabled dog just to add to the wickedness. Also, the dog was named Bruno.

A Thanksgiving Visitor: Movies about Writing

Although this is not about writing, it is based on Truman Capote’s happy childhood memories staying with his “spinster cousin”, a woman in her 60s named Miss Sook (Geraldine Page). Young Capote is called Buddy (Michael Kearney) in these childhood tales while adult Capote in all of his lispy glory narrates.

Buddy is being horribly bullied by a classmate named Odd Henderson (I’m not kidding, that his name). Miss Sook is the only person in the household who understands that academic Buddy does not know how to fight back against a bully like the other cousins want him to (yes, everyone else in the house keeps telling him to punch this kid back - oh, the good ole’ days). As a more progressive adult, Miss Sook then invites Odd Henderson to Thanksgiving dinner.

There are other childhood traumas such as one of the cousins trying to force Buddy to kill a turkey and jealousy over attentions of a pretty young female cousin. Hey, Truman Capote could have been curious about pretty girls as a child.

SPOILER ALERT: Of course, a drama occurs when Buddy sees Odd steal Miss Sook’s cameo. Buddy tries to reveal the theft in front of everyone at dinner and Miss Sook tries to cover for Odd because she states that “two wrongs don’t make a right”. Buddy humiliating Odd didn’t help the situation. However, Odd does return the cameo when Miss Sook lies that the cameo was not missing.

Miss Sook is clearly an inspiration for a writer’s voice. The way she talks is very poetic yet simplistic. She is also a woman trapped in a family who does not understand her and dreams of leaving for a new life. But a single woman in Great Depression South is not a person able to escape those with small minds. Of course, the cameo she planned to sell for her freedom was worthless and she never has the heart to tell Buddy.

World Philosophy Day

Why?

And while we’re at it -

What?

Thank you for coming to my deep thoughts.

Post -Halloween Blues

I’m gonna go watch a horror movie and no one can stop me! The decorations are staying up! Forget you, Thanksgiving! Sorry Sarah Josepha Hale, but it’s a mess of a holiday with an even messier history! I’m going to watch Michael Meyers make a mess instead!

Where to put the skulls?

Every year I make sugar skulls for Dia de los Muertos, but I’m not Mexican. I’m part Italian. I just enjoy the process and the decorating. Then… I never know what to do with them. There used to be an older cemetery between my commute from work to home and I would find the oldest grave I could to leave on. I’ve since moved further into the city. Why don’t they put more cemeteries in city limits? Commuting with sugar skulls is terribly awkward. Just saying.

The Haunting of Hill House: Movies about Writing

* I have several upcoming movie and TV blogs coming up which were written before the writers’ strike. I’m just going to post them until I run out.

“You publish this, you know what it costs.” Shirley says this to Steve about his memoir of their family’s time in a haunted house.

I waited to do this one so I could include spoilers. That having been said - Spoilers ahead!

First off, I have to declare my love for the original book and the 1963 film. Shirley Jackson was the queen of the unreliable narrators and it was magnificent! Even though she intended (according to later interviews) to always make Hill House haunted, the book is written in just the write way to make you question whether the events are supernatural or not. Director Robert Wise captured this atmosphere with even more subtly in the movie. And if anyone in the comments asks me about the 1999 version, you will get a long rant about fourteen year old me seeing that in theatres and experiencing wanting my money back for the first time.

Mike Flanagan rearranged the story completely, but kept that sense of paranoia and second guessing. By the way, I refused to watch this at first, declaring it looked nothing like the book (I had been burned before!). My friends lied to me and said, “Oh no, it’s pretty close to the book.” Turns out they’d never read the book although one of them has since (looking at you, Kira Shay).

Trigger warning - if you decide to watch the Haunting of Hill House, it deals in grief, suicide, mental health, addiction, and family trauma).

In all versions, Hill House is a structure which feeds on the energy of people. In Flanagan’s take, the house’s receives a family seven come to flip it in the early 90s. The parents, Hugh and Liv, are hoping this is the final time they will have to renovate a house and sell it so the family can have their forever home. Their child include Steve the skeptic, Shirley the practical one, Theo the stand-offish one, and the twins Luke and Nell. The house feeds upon each of them until one mysterious night Liv dies and Hugh takes them all away without a proper explanation.

As adult, the five kids blame Hill House or their parents for their issues. None of them have a good relationship with Hugh, who left the house boarded up to rot without further reasoning. Luke is a heroin addict, constantly in and out of rehab. Nell suffers from sleep paralysis, depression, and dies in Hill House at the beginning of the series. Theo is a child psychiatrist who uses her power of touching people/things to get emotions, the reason she wears gloves and shuts herself off to others most of the time. Shirley runs a funeral business with her husband, an endeavor she wants to be perfect. Finally, Steve turned around his failed novelist career by becoming a paranormal investigator and writing books based on what others see in haunted places. In case you didn’t already guess, I’m going to be focusing on Steve.

Flanagan mixes in word-for-word quotes from the original book in Steve’s narration from his own work. Jackson’s spooky and straight-forward style adds to the idea of Steve’s writing hiding his own disbelief. It lends itself well to the internet theories that the black mold in Hill House actually caused everything.

I get why Steve wanted to use their childhood as the basis of a book. And he was totally right. It was a bestseller. However, the way he goes about the process felt backwards. He writes the book, sends it to an editor and agent, gets a deal, AND THEN asks his siblings for permission. Shirley declares that he’s a phony since he never saw or heard anything in Hill House, yet uses their experiences and their mother’s mental illness to make a buck. She refuses any money he offers from the book sales. The others secretly agree to the money and later harp on Steve for using their pain to become famous. Theo even points out what he got wrong in book because (fanfare please) HE NEVER ASKED THEM WHILE WRITING IT!

He should have interviewed them. Written it with their help. Gotten the facts and permission first. However, nope. Steve was going to do what Steve was going to do. He does learn his lesson after that to a point. He starts interviewing people, asking if they will let him tell their stories of ghosts and terrors. He writes his books in such a way to feel like he believes in what he writes. That being said, Steve is so dismissive of what others believe he makes people feel bad about seeing ghosts.

When the family returns to the house, it feeds on each of their insecurities. For Steve it’s his writing and how he betrayed his family.

“Is anything real before you write it, Steve? The things you write about are real. Those people are real, their feelings are real, their pain is real, but not to you, is it? Not until you chew it up and digest it and you shit it out on a piece of paper. And even then, it’s a pale imitation at best.” A version of Steve’s wife in his head says this when the house is trying claim him. Seems to me that Hill House was not a fan of the book. Who knew houses could read?

Are You Afraid of the Dark? (Tale of the Dream Machine): Movies about Writing

* I have several upcoming movie and TV blogs coming up which were written before the writers’ strike. I’m just going to post them until I run out.

“When a story’s on paper, you can feel it. You can see it. And others can read it as well. But beware: for once a story’s written, it no longer belongs to the author, but has a life of it’s own.” This is the quote from the beginning of this episode meant to draw the viewer in.

For those unaware, “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” was Nickelodeon television show in the 90s about a groups of kids who told ghost stories around a campfire and my Saturday nights revolved around it and the rest of the Snick lineup.

This particular episode was about Sean, an aspiring writer who finds an old typewriter hidden under the stairs of the house his parents are fixing up. The teenager is instantly happy with the discovery especially since the previous owner was a bestselling mystery writer in the 1930s (who disappeared then was found dead - a story we never find out more about).

Since this is a supernatural show meant to scare kids, the typewriter has horrible powers. When Sean writes a story, the friends he includes in the prose then have a vivid dream where they live out the story. And if someone other than Sean then reads the words on the page, the people are physically sucked into the story where they have no power over the outcome.

First of all, as a child (I was probably nine or ten when this one aired) I only remember two aspects of this tale. Number one: the special effects were awful even for children’s TV made in Canada. Number two: Who writes their friends directly into a short story and use their real names?

Second of all, watching this as an adult I realize those two things still bug me, but two additional things bother me. Their English teacher steals food from the cafeteria! She realizes she’s run out of donuts and go to take a sweet roll from the school fridge. Who does that? And lastly, he wrote an entire short story in a night? I remember those days. Sigh.

Communion: Movies about Writing

* I have several upcoming movie and TV blogs coming up which were written before the writers’ strike. I’m just going to post them until I run out.

This blog will be short because I don’t think I can relive this film for too long.

In 1985, horror writer Whitley Strieber claims to have had encounters with possible beings from another world. In 1989, New Line Cinema decided to make a movie based on Strieber’s book of the events starring Christopher Walken.

This movies . . . awkward. I’m not just talking about the parts with lame rubber mask aliens who don’t move much because they didn’t have an animatronics budget. Every time people are talking or interacting, something feels off. Like no one reacts or says what you would expect in such situations, even when they are just sitting around laughing. Anyway, the movie is about this author who has to come to terms (and dance with?) the beings who experimented upon him more than once. There’s also a son who it’s hinted at was also experimented on, yet the parents decide to just let him deal with that when it becomes a repressed memory in his forties. Let’s get to the part about writing.

Strieber’s process is unusual. I wouldn’t judge but this movie begs to be judged. Walken’s character writes while wearing a fedora. Sometimes there’s no pants or no shirt yet the fedora remains. I love a fedora and I love being without pants. Not sure if doing both would help my creative process . . . then again, I’ll try most things once. Strieber also records himself and has his face live on TV next to the computer where he writes. The computer is a fantastic 80s model with green letters against a black screen that breaks on him constantly.

There are several of the standard practices as well. Talking to one’s characters while thinking out loud. Reviewing what you’ve already written while trying to fit in other household chores like cooking (yes, cooking is chore - don’t care that it’s needed for survival). And naturally the being super excited when a big idea comes. However, because all of this is being done by my beloved Walken, the behavior rides a thin line between psychotic and endearing.

Fake Versions of Real People: Harry Price

Reality in less than a paragraph

Harry Price was the original paranormal investigator. From the 1800s until his death in the 1940s, he traveled the United Kingdom searching for proof of ghosts and the fame/glory that could bring to him. His most well-known investigation took place in Borley Rectory, claiming it to be the most haunted house in England. He also worked to defraud mediums preying upon the grieving as part of his work for the Society for Psychical Research. He set up his own research organization when his self-promotion had member of the Society frown upon him. I confess, I don’t know the little details of his life, just the big information. Still, based upon these big details I watched these three films.

Harry Price: Ghost Hunter (2015)

Based on a novel and produced for ITV in the United Kingdom, this fictionalized account of Price is more like an adventure or a detective novel. It gives Price sidekicks, a love interest, and enough of a mystery to keep you interested. It felt like a lot of plot to fit into 90 minutes which made it a little muddled. Still, this was my favorite of the three. Then again, this was the one the least like what I think Price was actually like.

Rafe Spall plays Price as an empathetic, guilt ridden man determined to make amends to a world he wronged with medium trickery. He is in a race against time to save a politician’s wife from the asylum and prove ghosts have nothing to do with her mental state . . . or do they?

The Haunting of Borley Manor (2019)

I get it. Borley Rectory was the great haunting of Price’s career. This film was not great, but I’ve seen worse. This movie isn’t focused on Price, but it shows how investigating the Rectory effected him as he listens to the story of WWII soldier haunted by a ghostly nun (who I really could not tell if she was malevolent or misunderstood) while staying on the rectory grounds after the house burned down. I mean got the point of the film, don’t come for me, trolls. I’m just saying that the nun had a very changeable attitude through this mess.

Rad Brown plays Price as an adamant professor type, shaken by the haunting he viewed yet still obsessed with the past. He is mostly very English, you know stiff upper lip and examine the facts while secretly shaking in his boots.

The Ghosts of Borley Rectory (2021)

This and Haunting of Borley Manor were made by the same man (Stephen M. Smith). For clearly being obsessed with this story, Smith once again only used the names of real people for this low budget horror.

And low budget it was. THIS WAS THE WORST! It was a like a bad student film mixed with scenes from history channel re-enactments from the 90s! Somehow it had Julian Sands and Colin Baker in it which amused me, but mostly it was an hour and a half of boring conversations, bad costumes, and failed jump scares.

Toby Wynn-Davies is a little more realistic as Price, playing him as a manipulative and pompous investigator who is way to calm each time the killer nun shows up (except once and then he’s way to over-dramatic then goes back to acting like it was nothing).

Final thoughts - If you are interested in ghost hunters, check out our book From the Darkest Corner available in our shop!

* I have several upcoming movie and TV blogs coming up which were written before the writers’ strike. I’m just going to post them until I run out.

Anne with an E: Movies about Writing

* I have several upcoming movie and TV blogs coming up which were written before the writers’ strike. I’m just going to post them until I run out.

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” - L. M. Montgomery

What? It’s not quite October yet? Well, that’s fine. This wasn’t quite Anne of Green Gables.

I’m not going to do a specific episode here. I confess that I am an Anne of Green Gables purist and this show gave me anxiety. Why did every episode have to be a major drama? This show made Avonlea the most depressing place in North America. I mean, I appreciate them trying to add in actual social commentary especially from the time period, but hour after hour of PTSD, inequality, nearly losing the farm, being beaten by ruffians, con-men, and sexual assault! Seriously, where was the joy?

Just in case anyone is unfamiliar - Anne is an orphan in the early 1900s who is accidentally sent to the home (Green Gables) of spinster siblings Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert who were expecting a boy to help on the farm. They end up keeping the talkative, imaginative Anne despite all of her misadventures and ways she upsets social norms.

I’m going to talk about writing now. Something I did like in the show the spotlight it shown on Anne’s love of writing. She and her friends start a story club where they bring their ideas to a clubhouse they built in the woods. This is one of the few sweet, childhood moments in the first season. They keep the core of imaginative play there with Anne’s made-up beliefs developing into characters and plots.

The show adds more to the ideals of being a blossoming writer including a school newspaper. Anne experiences censorship and it leads the students to realize the importance of freedom of speech. They idea of Anne becoming an author is rather lost by the end of the series, taking a backseat to her unrequited love. At least the show never stopped the use of large words to convey meaning and never let up on how important those words were to young Anne.

Autumn Equinox

The Equinox is only two days away. Therefore, I’ve made a list of ways you can celebrate and upset your homeowner’s association at the same time!

1. Some people light a candle. That’s small potatoes. I say light dozens of torches, placed strategically on your yard in the shape of the owl from The Sword and Sword (just don’t let Disney catch ya).

2. Balance an egg to stand on the small end! Does this work? You’ll have to try it to find out.

3. Throw handfuls of fall leaves at people, yell “you are healed!”. Then skip away.

4. Peanut butter. I have given you a concept. Run with it.

5. Buy candy corn. I don’t care what your stance is on it? Love it. Hate it. Just support it. Support it as a glorious tradition passed down through the ages.

6. Find a doll, preferably an older doll with the blank stare of death. Set her in the window of your enemy (or just someone whose been pissing you off). Then move her to a different window. Continue this at various time between now and Halloween.

7. APPLES!!!! ALL THE APPLES!!!! Pick em! Bake em! Roast them on a fire! Dip them in tasty goo!

8. Collect recipes requiring squash. Buy the squash. Intend to cook it. Watch it go bad like a fun science experiment.

9. Find a farm and have a harvest festival for one until a stereotypical farmer appears shaking a pitchfork at you.

10. Time how long the sun is up versus how long it’s down. See if all this autumn equinox hype is true.