Winter Love Story: Movies about Writing

Since I actually, kind of enjoyed Mistletoe Inn, I decided to try one more Hallmark movie about a writer. I regret my decision. Although, full disclosure I missed bits of the beginning.

Cassie (Jen Lilley) is the daughter of a celebrated novelist and Princeton professor. She has just published her own first book following her divorce, a romance memoir full of humor and real-life inspired feelings. Her publisher asks bestselling fantasy author Elliot (Kevin McGarry) to help Cassie with being comfortable doing book readings and signings. He agrees and the pair go on tour together along with Elliot’s adorable dog, Bungee. Blah blah blah, they fall in love, they have a misunderstanding, they end up together. Oops, did I spoil it?

First of all, in the scenes where Elliot’s books are being read out loud, they still sound like the style of a romance novel, just with a dragon written in. Then again, his audience did seem to be a lot of twenty-something women who wanted to jump his bones. At least the film was realistic in its decision to show that even published authors who aren’t bestsellers need to supplement their income by showing Cassie as a barista. However, she works in a small coffee shop owned by her roommate. Mom’s a famous author who gave her advice. She lives with her boss. Cassie’s life is a lot of near-nepotism. At least Cassie admits this and chooses not to use her mom’s last name on her own book.

The concept of the book tour itself is a tad cringe. Two almost strangers taking a road trip together while their “point people” make sure they have places to stay in each city felt a little too fancy for a publishing company to pay for. If they hadn’t constantly pointed out that Elliot was making the company LOTS of money, I would have been making psh sounds through the whole movie. Also, they appear on a morning show together. I would understand interviewing Elliot about his popular series, but what kind of strings did they have to pull to let Cassie talk about her book too? (She chokes by the way and Elliot tries to teach her about “public speaking”).

What I did like was that Elliot immediately read her book as a way to get to know her and have a better working relationship. Meanwhile, Cassie is just a snob about his work calling him the “dragon-writer” and sneering as she refers to his work as “nerd novels”. Then she keep apologizing right afterwards like a passive-aggressive “no offense” comment. She learns her lesson, but seriously rude!!!! Cassie is not a particularly likable character, complaining when her room at the bed and breakfast is tiny and acting all superior. Elliot is the best promoter, giving her opportunities that a publishing company would never give unless her books were selling like his. He even confesses to her that he has writer’s block and she says nothing helpful! You’re both writers! Be a writer and try to help the man!

By the last twenty minutes Cassie almost won me over. She finally started to give back professionally to Elliot and was excited to be trying new reading and writing topics. She takes initiative in her own career while appreciating the careers of other authors. AND YET SHE COULD NOT GET OVER THAT ELLIOT HAD A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS EX-WIFE. Holy crap! He’s a better person than you. Deal with it.

Also, the dog needed more scenes.

Mistletoe Inn: Movies about Writing

Here we are again. Another holiday season and another round of mass-produced Christmas movies staring white TV actors who weren’t doing anything that week. I could get on my soapbox about these films and how they are not my thing, but instead I’m going to point out that after working in a bookstore for 12 years, I’m finally experiencing something by writer Richard Paul Evans. Nothing against Evans, I’m just not a big Christian fiction reader. But does this movie movie fit perfectly into this blog theme? Surprisingly yes. Like very much yes. Like I kinda hate how much I associated with parts of this movie. There was a long, hot shower after I finished watching.

This one is about Kim (Alicia Witt) who has been working on a romance novel for a long time, feeling like it’s not ready yet and will not allow others to read it except her dad (a fact which causes her boyfriend to break up with her, saying he wants to be in a relationship with another “real writer”).

Okay, Hallmark! I feel personally attacked. How dare you! Just because some of us writers want to make sure things are just so and might do 6 or 7 rewrites then spend nearly 2 years in editing does not mean we are not “real writers". How dare you question.

Kim goes to a writing retreat made up of a series of workshops. There she meets Zeke, a writer who uses a typewriter that he claims is the same model Hemingway used, and they proceed to insult each other in a lackluster meet-cute.

I hate the Hemingway typewriter cliche, by the way. Other famous writers used typewriters! You don’t have to idolize the rum-guzzling, narcissistic embodiment of toxic masculinity. Why can’t a writer in a movie ever once say “I use this brand of typewriter because Maya Angelou used it” or how about Douglas Adams or Mark Twain or. . . I confess I looked up a list of famous authors who used typewriters for this rant.

Amazingly, Mistletoe Inn doesn’t get you drunk according to the rules of the Hallmark Christmas Movie Drinking game. Just tipsy. Not that I tried it…

Kim makes friends with another writer, Samantha (Lucie Guest) who has been to the conference before and helps Kim be judgy towards her ex-boyfriend who is also at there. The ex-boyfriend of course uses all of his allotted dialogue to keep reminding Kim that she’s not a serious writer. Samantha also scolds another author (I didn’t catch the character’s name) who tries to make all of the new people feel like crap who have not being published yet. I’m sorry to say, but this felt like the most realistic part of the conference to me. There’s always at least one published snob ready to bring other people down and shatter their confidence.

The workshops Kim attends included a really good quote from a visiting editor. “This is a safe space for ideas. Writing is brave work. Ridicule is the tool of shallow people. Don’t be one of the shallow people.” Damn, Richard Paul Evans! Who hurt you at a writing conference? Whoever it was I hope they saw your first bestseller. I’m not a fan of your books, but damn dude! Mad props to whatever you survived at one these workshops.

The other quote I liked came from Zeke when he tries to show Kim how to handle the criticism of crabby, overly critical publishers and agents. This was inspired by him convincing her NOT to sit through a lecture by a notorious dream-killer (yep, been to those lectures before. My favorite part is when you ask a specific question and they manage to insult you without answering the question). “Every tiny victory along the road is worth celebrating. . . . that the point of writing is not be discovered, but rather self-discovery that hopefully other people can enjoy.” I’m not sure if that comes from the original book or it comes from the teleplay writer Michael Nourse, but DAMN!
As this is a Hallmark movie, Kim and Zeke fall in love over a course of snowball fights, warm romantic dinners, and more writing exercises. I mean literal writing exercises. That’s not an innuendo. I actually made a squee noise when Zeke tries to give her constructive criticism (legit, constructive criticism about how a first draft always needs tweaking). She takes this way too-hard, but again, I think she doesn’t understand what a FIRST DRAFT is! Case-in-point, I repeatedly called one of my finished first drafts “the turd” and my boyfriend said I should work on a second draft so it can at least be a “gilded turd”. I always go to Kira Shay and Sidney Reetz first because we’ve been sharing writing ideas since we were in high school. This is totally related to how the movie’s main theme about trusting the people who share your work with, but also being willing to share.

I’m going to end this one here, but other than the highly predictable romance sub-plot, I didn’t hate this one. Fine Hallmark. You won this round.

Image property of Hallmark. Also, they’re both writers. Why does he get to hold all of the writing materials

Christmas Getway: Movies about Writing

This is not meant to insult anyone, but Hallmark Christmas movies are not my cup of tea. Sure, they were a cute, guilty pleasure to watch with the moms when this trend first stared WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. But it’s now been twenty years of the same formula being released under twenty-five different titles each year. I get that they are mindless, non-anxiety causing entertainment, but come on! No one needs hundreds of these things. Calm the hell down, Hallmark! Also, when are they going to start incorporating some other December holidays like Kwanzaa and Hanukkah? Where’s “Have a little Imani in Me” or “The Man who came with Dreidel ”? I want one completely based around Yule where the characters fall in love while burning crap and dancing naked in the snow! But no. That’s not Hallmark’s demographic. I’m not Hallmark’s demographic. So… this will probably be painful.

I was already off to a great start when I was only two and a half minutes in when my boyfriend heard the music and dialogue from another room and accusingly shouted, “Are you watching a Hallmark movie?”

I picked Christmas Getaway because it’s about a travel writer (a subject I haven’t explored in this blog yet) and it stars Bridget Regan who I remembered from “Legend of the Seeker”. The plot involves her going to write about an old fashioned American Christmas in a town called Pine Cove. Pine Cove appears to be a mountain town where affluent white people in perfectly fitted winter coats. At the same time, a widower/divorcee (maybe I should have been paying more attention) played by someone named Travis van Winkle has come to Pine Cove in order to give his daughter and mother a special Christmas. I know these characters must have names, but I haven’t learned any except that the single father is Dad.

The movie got an ominous feel when the little girl goes to play outside and her dad calls out that he loves her. He says it like it’s a goodbye! Is she coming back? Don’t go out that door, little girl! Your father has clearly set up rabbit snares to get out of the way! And then he will have all of the Christmas cheer to himself (insert evil laugh). Oh wait, the kid survives.

And then, oh no, the two main characters have been accidentally booked into the same cabin and there are no other places available! Who could have possibly seen that coming? Anyone who saw any other Hallmark movie. That’s who.

The writer tries to start on a book she’s been playing with about her travel experiences and all of the world traditions she’s experienced, however she is distracted by the warm glow of family bonding created by the father and daughter. She decides to use them as the central point of her “old fashioned Christmas” article. They go to cut down their own tree at a farm that let’s people do that. . . without signing a waiver first.

This followed by ice skating, decorating, cookies, making snowmen, gingerbread house building, and other montage worthy events set to generic holiday music. Like one song would stop, then another would instantly began. I started to have retail PTSD. The idea of all this happy memory making is that the writer has worked every Christmas on assignment (which she technically still is so. . . what was the point again?). I guess that she’s with people? But honestly, I’d imagine a travel writer who knows so many traditions from other countries probably got invited to a few strangers’ holidays before that. I seriously can’t imagine that she was in a place like Italy at Christmas and didn’t get awkwardly invited to someone’s house for dinner.

The travel writer’s boss/best friend says that the writer and the single dad clearly have a thing because “you can’t fake chemistry”. This quote made me laugh out loud as it feels like what the director of every one of these movies has to scream at the actors on set.

Eventually all of this jaunty public domain music and holiday sap inspire the travel writer to. . . you know . . . write. Personally, if I had a paid vacation to a cabin the woods with hot chocolate I might get some writing done too. That is, if my allergies don’t try to kill me like the last time I tried writing in a cabin in the woods. I think I did more dreaming about writing in my antihistamine haze, but we saw a bear!

Okay, back to the movie. The writer expresses how shThers feeling inspired to finish the book by settling in one place for a while. Of course, she tells this to the eligible single father before they (gasp) nearly kiss. Side note:They still haven’t kissed! There’s 30 minutes left of this thing? uggggg, but my squirrel instincts want to look at interesting shinies. Bored!

Therefore, let’s wrap this up. Guy loses girl through misunderstanding. Girl decides to get guy anyway through magic of Christmas. I think a car had the safest spin out on an icy road EVER. Blah blah blah. Back to the writing stuff. Turns out the trip was a ploy by the main character’s boss/best friend so she could take a break and get some emotion back into her writing. That was nice, but the rest of unbelievably sap-tastic and I’m going to go throw up now. It will be festive. I promise.