Murder She Wrote (A Christmas Secret)

This return to Cabot Cove does not see the usual cavalcade of classic TV and movie actors, but . . . Holy crap! Amy Brenneman! Where’s she been lately? And the step-dad from the Princess Diaries movies? Apparently, this episode is more of a “I know I know that guy from something” episode.

Jessica Fletcher’s beloved Maine town is too close to the ocean to for snow at Christmas apparently, but Christmas is shown through depressing conversations like “this year, with the world in the shape it’s in, Christmas is a hollow promise.” Dude, it’s 1992. You have no idea how out of shape the modern world can be!

Even the murder in this is not even a murder - it’s attempted murder. And it was against Veronica Mars’s mom so stop complaining, fictional characters. The entire mystery is a little convoluted and I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty of this later season episode. So let’s talk about the writing part.

In truth, this is episode does not show off much of the mystery writing, but Jessica Fletcher’s wide vocabulary and random knowledge do make her a good detective. Is that enough of an explanation? Because honestly, I thought there would be more writing in this. Oh well.

If Winter Comes: Movies about Writing

A break from Poe for a moment due to the passing of Angela Lansbury. Moment of silence for all of our childhoods losing another icon (and yes, there will be another Murder She Wrote blog coming).

If Winter Comes is a melodramatic slog of a film. There. I said it. It was so full of characters pushing their faces together and declaring, “Oh darling” that I should have made it into a drinking game. Here goes the synopsis (in as short a way as I can). People suck and war makes it worse. There.
Very well. I should at least explain why I picked this one. Mark (Walter Pidgeon) is a funny loving and laid back writer of school textbooks. His wife Mabel (Angela Lansbury) is an uptight and traditional housewife attempting to make her place in the tiny town’s society. And Nona (Deborah Kerr) is the adventurous love of Mark’s life who married someone else. Young Janet Leigh plays Effie, a sweet teenage girl who is friends with Mark and gets them both into trouble. There’s a lot of death and town gossip accompanied by swelling music at the appropriate times. Naturally, this was based on a bestselling book. People are suckers for a weepy love story. Oops, did that sound bitter? I guess too much sensationalism make me grumpy. At least there was a good cast.

Anyway, the part I wanted to actually focus on was Mark’s job. He works for a staunchly run publishing company run by Reginald Owen with a very thick walrus-like mustache. While he keeps hinting that he should be made partner after so many years of service, his coworkers and boss are constantly looking for legitimate reasons to fire him. Mark attempts to rework the format of children’s textbooks so they will appeal more to their audience, working in better adjectives and adventure stories. He also writes commentary for the local paper. All of this is ruined by the gossip of a small town.

Warehouse 13 (Nevermore): Movies about Writing

I’m cheating a little with this one, but I love this show so much, how could I not.

Warehouse 13 was a SyFy channel original series about a secret facility which housed objects that had taken on mystical properties based on who had owned them or events the objects had been involved in. A team made up of Pete (Eddie McCliintock), Myka (Joanne Kelly), Claudia (Allison Scagliotti), and Artie (Saul Rubinek) track down the objects before the emotions and magic attached to them wreak havoc.

I say I’m cheating a little because Edgar Allan Poe does not appear in this episode, but it is an episode about writing, but also about the Poe’s own fears and insecurities effecting the world around him even after death.

The bad guy in this season was a former Warehouse agent named MacPherson (Roger Rees) who steals Poe’s notebook and quill in order to threaten the current agents. The threat includes sending one of the artifacts to Myka’s father, a bookshop owner who she’s always had a strained relationship with. A notebook once belonging to Poe infects Myka’s dad with words (literally - ink is moving across his skin and making him sick). Meanwhile, pen once used by Poe overtakes young man at a prep school who starts to use some of Poe’s favorite fictional tortures on his bullies. Since the pen and notebook are connected, all of the teenagers angry actions become the father’s fever dreams. The two objects are filled with Poe’s own paranoia, rage, unrequited love, and feelings of inadequacy.

Spoiler Alert but it’s some good details:


One way to keep her father alive is Myka reading to him from his favorite books. Her mom reveals that her dad wrote a novel, then rewrote it eleven more times. Never being happy with it, he eventually asked his wife to burn the whole thing. Being a woman who understands that a writer might regret this decision someday, she hid the manuscript away. Those are the “words he loves more than any other in the world”.

This episode was all about the idea of “words have power” and an author’s own words can greatly effect how they feel when they hear someone else read them aloud. Even those this is a science fiction show about haunted artifacts, I more believe this reality of a story having the power to save more than in The Notebook. You can keep someone safe or empower them, but you can’t cure Alzheimer's sixty seconds at a time.

As far as the story of the teenage boy is concerned, I think you are supposed assume that Poe’s pen was drawn to him because he was ignored and awkward. I get the sense that Poe probably felt the same at that age.

Beetlejuice (Poe-Pourri): Movies about Writing

This will be a short one, because it’s based on a short one.

Remember the Beetlejuice cartoon? What? You never watched it? My nostalgia riddled mind will tell you it was amazing . . . so probably best not to trust me. All you really need to know is that Lydia and Beetlejuice are friends in the cartoon, there’s no Barbara and Adam, and it had a lot of little kid humor (so. many. burping. jokes.).

Beetlejuice is freaked out one night reading a book of poems Lydia left at his roadhouse in the Netherworld. I don’t know why the ghost lives in a roadhouse, but I digress. Poe shows up at his house with a rapping raven, a literal steamer trunk, and handfuls of cash which he throws around when he cries about Lenore. I didn’t know writer’s got residual check’s in the afterlife?

The greedy Ghost with the Most invites Poe to stay at the roadhouse as he continues his search through the Netherworld for Lenore. Seriously, where is Poe getting all of this moolah? He was never rich in life. Anyway, Lydia comes over to fangirl over the wailing author while Beetlejuice is driven mad in a montage of Poe tales.

Due to this episode airing when I about seven or eight, I thought Lenore had been a real person, not an allegory for the loss of Poe’s wife and other women he loved. I also thought the Masque of the Red Death was a little mask with a runny nose.

Castle (Vampire Weekend): Movies about Writing

So… I’m cheating here. This is not about Edgar Allan Poe it’s an episode of Castle. But it’s Halloween and I’m trying to put off watching that John Cusack movie as long as possible. Also, despite the episode title, no reference to the band is made in this 45 minutes.

For those who don’t know: Castle is about a mystery writer who acts as a consultant to the NYPD. He lives with his mother and teenage daughter. His partner is Detective Kate Beckett who acts as straight man to his Groucho Marx routine.

I love this episode of Castle because it opens with Richard Castle dressed in a “space cowboy” costume, which his daughter points out he wore “like five years ago”. Firefly references rule and if you don’t think so then . . . well, you’re wrong. Alexis is reading the Pit and Pendulum (which for some reason is novel size. Like a thick novel. Did the prop department not know it was a short story? Why did no one correct them? All they had to do was add “and other Tales” to the fake dust jacket they made. It even looks like they threw an Aubrey Beardsley illustration on the back! Some research must have gone into this so why is that book so big?!

Sorry, sorry. Back to the episode. It’s about modern vampires, people who get augmented teeth and drink blood for funsies. A young man dies with a stake through his heart. Castle and Beckett are led to a deranged man with photo-sensitivity, beautiful drawings of an unsolved murder, and a grieving little sister who they joke might grow up to be a writer or a cop due to the trauma.

Castle has a good little speech about becoming a writer as a way to try and understand the behavior of people, especially the people who would harm someone or something they claim to love.

Anyway - the episode ends with Castle’s annual Halloween party where he dresses up as Edgar Allan Poe complete with a fake raven on his arm. One of the other characters tell him he “throws a great shindig for a 19th century Poet”. You know, I think if Poe ever had the means to throw parties, he would have been good at it.

Masters of Horror (The Black Cat): Movies about Writing

This is a strange one where fact meets fiction. Poe and Virginia (aka Sissie - which he really did call her) live alone with a canary, a fish, and black cat name Pluto (like in Poe’s story “The Black Cat”). A drunken Poe (Jeffrey Combs) is going mad with desperation when Virginia (Elyse Levesque) suddenly contracts tuberculosis. He has difficulty writing between her coughing and Pluto acting out. He removes the cat’s eye when he believes that animal killed the fish and canary.

Shortly after Poe’s act of violence, Virginia dies from a fit and his publisher encourages him to drink in order to get him back on track with the writing. In his deteriorating mind, he becomes convinced that the cat caused his wife’s death and [SPOILER ALERT] kills the cat.

Look at the pretty kitty! I wanna snuggle it’s smug face!

But this is a horror story, so that cannot be the end of it. Oh no. It turns out Virginia is alive! So Poe goes back to drinking. Virginia finds a new Pluto who looks suspiciously like the original. Poe celebrates this new addition to the family by drinking, trying to kill the cat (again), and having a breakdown in front of Virginia where he declares he can’t write or support her. From there the last act gets rather gory and mimics the original short story. But the whole thing does make Poe love the cat and gives him the inspiration he needs to write. In the end, isn’t all the terror worth that?

I feel like this TV special isn’t fair. First, it removes Virginia mom from the story completely and makes Virginia’s illness a quick down slide. More than that - they made Poe cruel to animals! He loved his cat! Her name was Catterina and she would sit on his shoulder while he wrote. My cats only sit with me when I write because they want my chair and they are waiting for me to get up.

Sabrina the Teenage Witch (The Phantom Meance): Movies about Writing

In her senior year of high school, Sabrina (Melissa Joan Hart) decides to use Halloween to impress her new boss and work the night shift. This goes against the precedent set by other episodes where witch Halloween is more like Thanksgiving with food and annoying relatives. Seriously, who volunteers to work on a family holiday? Oh wait, anyone who wants to avoid family. But who admits it directly to their family’s face?

Her aunts tell her she can’t “run away” from the holiday, but she’s determined to have a quiet night without the “kid stuff”. Meanwhile, her boyfriend Harvey is running around in a onesie egging houses and she criticizes him. Hey! Let people have their fun! Anyway the main plot is about her being literally haunted because she tries to skip Halloween.

Back at the house (a set I would gladly live on), Aunt Zelda and Aunt Hilda decide to invite Edgar Allan Poe to Halloween dinner using their time travel clock. They hope he can scare them because they have a yen for the shivers. They fangirl hard over the dead poet, holding his cape between them and declaring “no garment could be scarier!” Poe (played by a character actor named Edgar Allan Poe IV who claims to be a descendant of Poe’s family) is portrayed as a very human man who has missed good cooking because “in the afterlife there is no salt”. The actor does a great Virginia accent to go with the role which is something missing from most movie and TV versions of Poe.

The big twist is that Poe no longer write horror because there’s a better market for sappy love poetry. In the end, Salem the cat reads one of his horror stories leaving both aunt and Poe with their hair standing on end in terror.

There are some good jokes in this episodes of late 90s/early 00s fodder. My favorite was Hilda stating that Zelda forgot the one thing that would make Poe feel at home. Salem the cat responds with “An open bar?” I know. I know. It’s not fair to make fun of someone with a problem, but for a kid’s show it was a pretty good burn.

Mr. Peabody's Improbable History: Movies about Writing

I loved Mr. Peabody and Sherman as a kid. My parents were more willing to watch the reruns of this with me than when I went through a Beanie and Cecil phase. Honestly, the 90s were a magical time for throwbacks. Between Nick at Nite and our own bizarre cartoons, its’ no wonder my generation is against reality.

Luckily, that movie came out recently so I assume I don’t have to explain about Peabody, Sherman, or the Wayback Machine in this blog. This cartoon aired in 1960 (I think - please comment below if I’m wrong) as one of the many “something we’ll home you’ll really like” on the Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle and Friends. In the short, Mr. Peabody presents the horror that is his boy’s report card and announces that he’s taking Sherman back in time to meet Edgar Allan Poe for a writing lesson.

The find Poe at a massive desk, finishing his draft of Winnie the Pooh. Oooo, be careful, Poe. Disney will sue you if you put a shirt on that bear.

Anyway, Mr. Peabody and Sherman escort Poe to what is supposed to be one of many haunted houses in Baltimore in order to inspire fear. The “foreboding abode” is filled with torture equipment, deadly creatures, and the best cliches you can think of, however Poe happily plays and is distracted by happy things.

Spoiler Alert: What finally frightens Poe in the end is knocked off his feet in fright by his income tax report. Bah dum dum tsk!

As funny as this was to me at seven years old, as an adult who knows more about mental health, I really want to go back in time and give Poe the damn yoyo from the cartoon. Just let the man be happy, damn it!

Castle of Blood: Movies about Writing

This particular little film I had to track down through the means of Youtube, meaning the transfer was rather painfully grainy. An Italian/French production also known as Dance Macabre, Castle of Blood shows little of Poe, but he’s the catalyst for the whole . . . shall we say plot?

A journalist challenges Poe (Silvano Tranquilli) in a pub that his stories are completely fake, to which Poe declares that he has experienced the supernatural in reality. At least I think that’s what he said. The movie kept slipping into French and Italian with no subtitles. Anyway, a Lord Blackwood (of course he name is Lord Blackwood) dares the journalist to spend the night in a real haunted castle.

Wait? What did I miss? Why is there a castle? Where are they? There are no medieval castles in Baltimore or New York that I know of! Did the Italian screenwriters think the United States just has castles lying about?

I really don’t have much else to say on this except that it is one of several Italian horror movies Barbara Steele (Roger Corman’s Pit and the Pendulum actress) made in 1964. There’s lots of jump scares and close-ups of attempted gore with high-pitched organ music. I really thought Poe would be in it more. He really wasn’t even all that upset that his writing was challenged in the beginning of the movie, just amused. I guess Italian Poe is cooler than real Poe.

Apparently this was remade by the same director a few years later with Klaus Kinski as Edgar Allan Poe, but I’m not sitting through it again especially not with that creeper in it.

Loves of Edgar Allan Poe: Movies about Writing

Oh the 40s. A time of mass production of movies all trying to bank off the last great success. Oh wait. That’s right now. Either way, this, like so many other biopics of the 40s involves very little biography and a great deal of melodrama.

This one focuses on the women in Poe’s life fittingly through the women closest to him. Not an accurate way, but in a lot of sap and sweetness. His adoptive mother is fittingly his first champion who encourages him to become a poet at college, but his adoptive father won’t give him enough money to be a presentable scholar. (Note: In reality, Poe gambled the money and then his adoptive father refused to give him more. But gambling is instead the result of his father’s miserly behavior). He starts his writing career early in an attempt to show his own genius and prove he can marry his first romantic love, Elmira. Poe didn’t start seriously writing until later, however, he also meets Thomas Jefferson as a student to discuss said writing. We are off the historical rails now.

Poe does say that he has a formula for his tales, a mix of expectations and breaking those expectations, a statement he makes with great confidence. He chooses writing over everything especially when he discovers that Elmira will marry another man. Gasp! He does join the army before going to live with his aunt, Maria Clemm, and cousin Virginia which is accurate. Virginia is older and played by Linda Darnell in the film because. . . you know, don’t want to creep out the audience with his child bride.

Poe is overly boastful about his first book being published, thinking he now has a steady stream of income. He is going to “snare ghosts” and put them in a bottle to sell for fame and riches. Oh you sweet summer child. Clearly, this Poe never spoke to another artist in his naive life. He does have success for a time, winning a story contest and being offered a job on a magazine. He even fights for copyright laws with Charles Dickens (seriously, everyone need to thank him and the other authors who fought so we could all have our works protected - maybe I should buy myself another Poe doll as my appreciation). All of this makes him look much more prominent and wealthy than I think he ever was.

Poe ruins this shining moment by allowing a night out with Virginia to upset him when he runs into Elmira, discovering she always loved him. There’s also a scene where someone says, “he married his cousin” with such shock. That was totally normal until the early 1900s. Poe stays away for 3 days drinking and ticking off his his boss. Virginia wants to look for him with pity, but her mother tells her that she needs to wait and be the one to scold him for his behavior. It’s sort of a strong woman scene which you know probably never happened just because Virginia was usually too sick to go anywhere.

Virginia is a bold and wise young woman in this film. She points out that “those who create have always been treated [poorly] by those who don’t understand”. Where is a teenager with no experience of the world getting this insight? A moment of jealousy is added as she lays ill where she is convinced Elmira will take Poe away. This is very human for a character they made so perfect up to that moment.

Spoiler alert: Virginia dies as Poe tries to sell “The Raven”. Then Poe dies in a stupor. The end. No really. That’s how it ends.

To conclude, the part of this which made me happiest was how important copyright law was. I get it. It’s not exciting or romantic. Yet, it is so important and most people don’t even know Poe was a part of it. Copyright projects artists as best it can and to think of a time without it fills me with anxiety. Maybe that’s the real reason why Poe drank.

The Raven (1915): Movies about Writing

Apparently, there was a novel called “The Raven: The Love Story of Edgar Allan Poe” by George C. Hazelton, based on a play he also wrote. I found different exact dates for the play and novel so let’s just say between 1900 and 1909. Either way, this film is based on that book/play. It opens in a strange way, giving the history of Poe’s in America - feel the patriotism people! After about 2 minutes of family tree, the audience is introduced to actor Henry B. Walthall as Poe,

The actual plot starts with little Poe being separated from his sister (Poe’s brother has been written out) upon his mother’s death and sent to live with the Allan family. The house here looks more like Tara than the home of a merchant, but visually nothing is historically accurate. The costumes - so many frills and puffs! The actress look like their clothes are trying to swallow them in fabric!

Anyway, Poe goes to college, gambles, drinks, and gets disowned whereupon his goes to visit his aunt and cousin. Virginia Clem is played by Warda Howard, who behaves very childlike at the beginning of the film and more melancholic as the story goes on. Their courtship is depicted as wholesome and romantic. He tells her stories and brings her flowers and sneaks kisses and competes for her hand against another suitor and buys an enslaved man to make her happy. Oh, did you catch that last part? That’s right. He purchases another human being who was being abused as a gift to his young girlfriend. Yep. Dating sure has changed hasn’t it.

All of this mushy stuff never happened as far as anyone knows, so let’s jump to depressed Poe torturing himself over his writing as Virginia tries to encourage him while she coughs up a lung. All very dramatic. Just like the earlier silent film, the main idea of the scene is that if Poe can only get published, he can save Virginia. Which is not have tuberculosis works and she dies with a great deal of arm waving.

The same actress plays poet Helen Whitman, who Poe mistakes for Virginia in a state of despair and hallucination. For some reason, this all triggers him to write “The Raven”, which is acted out by Poe and the ghost of Virginia. He finishes writing it and [SPOILER ALERT] dies. That’s it. That’ s all Poe ever wrote. The end.

I don’t think I’ll be reading the book this is based on.

Edgar Allen Poe (1909): Movies about Writing

First off, I didn’t spell Poe’s name wrong in the title above. That’s how it’s spelled for the movie. Second, what did I just watch?

Don’t get me wrong- I normally like most silent films. MOST.

This is only 7 minutes long. However, it is directed by D.W. Griffith (deep sigh of despair due to history connected with him) so that 7 minutes is filled to the brim with melodrama. It opens with Virginia Clemm Poe (Linda Arvidson) tossing her hands around to show the audience how tormented by illness she is. Edgar Allan Poe (Barry O’Moore) comes in, also throwing his hands in the air a bunch, puts her to bed, then writes “The Raven” based on a conveniently placed taxidermy bird in their disheveled and under-furnished home. I’m not kidding. Virginia’s bed looks like a table with a blanket. Upon completion, he keeps pushing the poem into his wife’s dying face for her approval, then goes to find someone willing to pay for his work.

The remainder of this short film is Poe trying to convince editors and poets that he needs to get published (which he does without putting on a coat first - no wonder they didn’t take him seriously).

SPOILER ALERT: Poe sells the poem. He uses the proceeds to buy a warm blanket for Virginia, but comes home only seconds after she’s kicked the bucket. And that’s it. That’s the whole film. Thanks for nothing, Griffith. Your legacy lives on.

POE THEME: Movies about Writing

Movies about Poe time! The man! The myth! The super depressed writer who I have an upsetting obsession with. Therefore, I am going to bite the bullet and watch the horribly inaccurate films loosely based on Edgar’s life that I have been avoiding. I’m also going to throw in a couple of funny depictions of Poe to keep myself sane. This will last a few weeks so prepare yourself for lots of Mr. Mopey. . . I mean Poe. Mr. Poe.

Knives Out: Movies about Writing (Copy)

This one is a going to have spoilers - so you’ve been warned.

I love this movie so this will be written with bias. Knives Out is what happens when a bestselling mystery writer kills himself and leave everything to his kind nurse instead of the spoiled members of his family. I can’t do this film justice in a blog, so I won’t go into intense detail, but here’s the background. Christopher Plummer plays Harlan Thrombey, a self-made millionaire with his own publishing company and house of fabulous oddities based on his many novels. His family is made up of a whose who of great actors (including Jamie Lee Curtis, Toni Collette, Michael Shannon, and Chris Evans) in a traditional Agatha Christie style.

This comes with their own quirky private detective Blanc (Daniel Craig takes this role and runs with it in a fantastic way) working with the exhausted police investigators (one of whom is notably played by LaKeith Stanfield). At the center of all of this is Marta, the quiet, young caregiver played by Ana de Armas. Also, Frank Oz has a cameo as the lawyer at the will reading. Side note: I just imagine this moment on the set of Star Wars the Last Jedi where Rian Johnson fanboyed over Frank Oz and slyly asked if he wasted to play the snarky attorney. If this is not how the casting occurred, I don’t want to know. Let me have my geek dream.

This movie is Rian Johnson’s love letter to Poirot, Colombo, Jessica Fletcher, and the film Clue. So, he includes so many of the tropes needed, while mixing in it a unique story of socioeconomic status.

Let’s look at the author/victim of the mystery first. Harlan Thrombey fills his house with a mix of oddities and objects from his novels. He raised his family in this attempt to make his own life more interesting as his daughter talks about his love of games and how he regrets giving them all too many handouts that they don’t seem to appreciate. For example, when he finds out that his son-in-law is having an affair, instead of coming out directly with the information, he writes in a secret message to his daughter that he promises to deliver if the husband does not come clean.

Therefore, when Marta thinks she’s accidentally poisoned Harlan with morphine, he is determined to save her in a way that is full of all the complications of a mystery novel, after he considers how this form of murder would work well in a novel. He refuses to allow her to call the police as her mother is undocumented. Instead, he tells her to leave the house so everyone sees her, sneak back in, pretend to be Harlan so everyone thinks he was still alive after she left, and then sneak back out. All of this while he has slit his own throat to make his death appear as a suicide. This, by the way, is not the actual twist of the film. All of that is revealed in the first 30 minutes.

Going back to the idea of a successful mystery writer being the center of a murder mystery. I’ve mentioned the house and property full of wonderful eccentric relics. This is meant to mirror his personality and the themes of his novels. The reason why I point this out is because it is the beloved goal of every writer or artist to be able to afford a house big enough to fill with all of the weird items of our dream lives. Mine would have a secret bookcase door, a cast iron spiral staircase, and a giant mural of either a Gustav Dore’ picture or a N.Y. Wyeth illustration.

None of this has to do with the plot of the movie (well, it does, but you need to watch the movie to find out how). I’m just saying - I want Harlan Thrombey’s house.

Crimson Peak: Movies about Writing (Copy)

I’ve seen this movie at least once a year since it came out. Crimson Peak includes some of my absolute favorite supernatural tropes: a Gothic house, a woman who is both the victim and savior, ghosts who are both frightening and helpful, and utilizing the social norms of the Industrial Era compared to the “old world” European settings.

Crimson Peak is an atmospheric thriller about Edith (Mia Wasikowska), a writer and the daughter of an American businessman, who marries the charming Thomas Sharpe (Tom Hiddleston) despite reservations of those around her (Jim Beaver plays her father and Charlie Hunnamam plays her old friend Dr. Alan McMichael). Thomas whisks Edith away to live him and his sister Lucille (Jessica Chastain) in their crumbling English estate, Allendale Hall to pursue his attempts to make the manor lucrative once again. It is not long before Edith is the center of mysterious visitations from those no long living.

The movie is written by Matthew Robbins (Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Dragonslayer, *batteries not included, etc) and Guillermo del Toro (Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy, The Shape of Water, etc.). The director is, naturally, also del Toro. Of course, this might be partially why I adore this film. Guillermo del Toro and I have many similar loves - Ray Harryhausen, Charles Dickens, fairy tales, Disney movies, the Haunted Mansion, Richard Matheson, Poe, and classic horror movies including Freaks and one of my all-time favorite films The Uninvited from 1944. I desperately want to get a beer with this man and just geek out for hour about books and movies. WHY CAN’T THIS HAPPEN?

Let’s get down to the parts of this story that relate to writing. This is a mystery so warning: MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

After an experience of her deceased mother delivering her a cryptic warning as a child, Edith Cushing has grown up as an aspiring writer of supernatural fiction. The early scenes of the film focuses heavily on her writing ambitions and how society mocks her efforts. An exchange between Edith and the mother of her childhood friend shows how little she cares about their opinions, as well as her attempts to build a somewhat morbid reputation.

“…our very own Jane Austen. Though she died a spinster, didn’t she?”

“Actually, Mrs. McMichael, I’d prefer to be Mary Shelley. She died a widow.”

Edith shows up early at the publishing office, covering in ink from doing corrections while she waits. THE NOVEL IS NEVER DONE - I TELL YOU!!!! Movies that take places in the mid- 1800s up through the 1910s always show the publisher or editor reading the whole manuscript while the writer sits there anxiously. How do they do this? Do the pair sit there four hours together in uncomfortable silence? Is this potential buyer just skimming? Are there bathroom breaks?

Either way, the scene in Crimson Peak keep this pattern of Edith on the edge of her chair while the publisher (played by Jonathan Hyde who still haunts my childhood at Van Pelt, the hunter from the original Jumanji) criticizes her for being a woman who wrote a ghost story (“It’s not! The ghost is a metaphor for the past” as Edith insists) without love story in it.

Despite the rejection and her decision type her stories from then on to hide her gender, Edith’s father buys her a beautiful fountain pen. I point this out because the pen is important a the end of the story. She also, as she is typing out this manuscript for another attempt at publication, meets the dashing rogue of the tale, Sir Thomas Sharpe Baronet. He compliments the story in front of her, not knowing she is the author. Seriously, if Tom Hiddleston complimented my writing I would probably marry him too (the fact that he is Tom Hiddleston does help, though).

Mr. Cushing has Thomas Sharpe and his sister, Lucille, investigated by a private detective (played by Burn Gorman who will always be Owen from “Torchwood” in my mind) and finds information that make him insist that Edith’s heart be broken so she does not pine too long for Thomas. Thomas does this in the masterful stroke of her attacking her novel. He gets mean, basically she her characters have no realism or true emotion, just the mimics of characters from other books. Harsh, dude! Harsh.

As this is a horror story, Edith’s father then dies in a violent and mysterious way, leaving Thomas a chance to apologize and marry Edith. There are only two things in this movie that bug me. 1) a dog get murdered. 2) When Thomas begs the forgiveness of our hero, he talks about a sting that connects his heart to hers. This is line clearly paraphrased from Jane Eyre and Edith, as a writer and reader, should have recognized such a cheesy line.

Arriving at Allendale Hall cuts down on Edith’s writing as she is a new bride in a haunted house with a psychotic new sister-in-law. There is one scene were Thomas asks her the fate of her main character and she honestly tell him that she doesn’t know - how a writer cannot control completely the decisions their characters make. I’m not going to give away all of the jumps and ghostly entities, but I want to go back to the theme of Edith as a writer.

In climax of the film, when Edith discovers she is trapped in a Bluebeard plot of greed and incest, Lucille attempts to force her to sign over the last of her inheritance to the Sharpes. As this battle of wills takes place, Lucille proceeds to BURN EDITH’S MANUSCRIPT! Bitch! Oh no! She did not! Edith proceeds to stab Lucille in the shoulder with the fountain pen her father gave her. You get it? It’s like a metaphor or something.

The film ends with Edith writing the tale of Crimson Peak, revealed to the audience in form of a published book. So, she’s finally a published writer after all. Happy ending. Right.

Not my image- Belongs to Universal Pictures

Misery: Movies About Writing (Copy)

As James Caan has recently passed, I decided to re-post one of my earliest movie blogs. Here ya go.

Stephen King has said that of all of his characters, Annie Wilkes is the one he would not want to be quarantined with. Especially if she was his number one fan.

I’ve read this book once and only once. The movie I’d only ever seen pieces of until now and I have to say: nothing puts editing critiques into perspective like watching Misery. I’m sure most of you are familiar with the story, but just in case, it’s about an injured writer who is in the clutches of a deranged woman who adores his books.

First, the movie in general. I confess I get excited to see Lauren Bacall and Richard Farnsworth in something that I haven’t seen a million time. And of course Kathy Bates is brilliant and horrifying. It does weird me out that it’s Rob Reiner film. Before this he had directed such serious dramatic works as This is Spinal Tap and the Princess Bride . . . alright and Stand By Me which is a little more hard hitting, but also based on a King story. By the way, the screenwriter for Misery is William Goldman, author/screenwriter of the Princess Bride. That’s your random trivia of the day.

First of all, I just want to point out that Wilkes isn’t AS AWFUL in the movie. In the book, some of her actions almost made me throw up. In the movie, she’s still awful, but a fraction less awful (I don’t want to give away anything in the book so just know that I found the movie slightly tamer . . . slightly).

I actually watched this as background noise while going through some editing notes for my next novel. In both the book and the movie there is that moment Annie forces the author Paul to burn his latest book which she found filthy. Of course, the typed pages she sets on a grill are the only copy and she is threatening his well-being if he doesn’t light a match over it. I imagine there are some who watch this and think that the manuscript is no where near as important as Paul’s food, medicine, and life. But this really is one of the most gut wrenching scenes for any creator. You put months and years into a story or any artistic endeavor. It’s not like in those old movies where they write it overnight and it’s perfect as is. Writing a novel especially takes literal blood, sweat, and tears (usually during the editing process) not to mention a bit of booze or chocolate (usually during the writing process).

To anyone who has ever had a project lost, especially to the horror that is computer glitches, you know the frustration and sorrow it causes. The first time this happened to me I was twelve and the floppy disk (that’s right - I’m old) with my first attempt at a novel saved to it stopped letting me open the novel. A friend of my brother’s claimed he knew how to retrieve the file and took the disk from me. I waited several weeks before re-starting the process and trying to remember everything I’d already written once, only to have him then tell me that 1) he’d totally forgotten he’d promised to fix it and 2) that there was no way he could fix it, why did he say that? Although I am clearly still bitter at this betrayal of my trust to he’d have an opportunity to briefly look like a hero, I do have to thank him for one thing. My anger towards him helped me move on from my anger towards the entire situation and I did rewrite the book. Several times, actually, but that’s another story.

In the film version of Misery, they don’t really cover Paul’s thought process at this time, but I’d hate to confess that it’s a little similar to my own in the book. His bitterness and rage towards Annie helps him to keep thinking about how he’s going to rewrite that “filthy” novel just to spite her.

This brings me to other major writer moment of the movie. Annie insists that Paul write a novel the resurrects her favorite character, a romance icon called Misery (get it? Huh? Huh?). When he starts this novel begrudgingly, she gives him serious critiques about continuity. And he has to admit that she’s right. This is possibly the most realistic and undeniably frustrating moment in a writer’s life. When someone whose opinion you don’t even want makes you write something better.

That having been said, I still wouldn’t want her hovering over my bed to get me motivated. Damn it, Annie Wilkes!

Image copyright Columbia Pictures, Nelson Entertainment, and Castle Rock Entertainment (please no one sue me, I’m poor)