Let’s fight some foo - Calm down, Dave Grohl fans. I’m referring to a rather ridiculous song that hops into being and multiplies amongst all children this time of year. Little Bunny Foo Foo, for those who have been spared this repetative earworm, is a nursury rhyme/folk song about an abusive rabbit. His chosen victims of blunt torture are field mice. He’s told by a fairy that if he doesn’t stop then she’ll turn him into a goon. Long story stort (too late) the moral of the song is “hare today, goon tomorrow.”

Now that you’ve been bopped on the head like an unsuspecting field mouse with that pun - I ask you what the hell is up with this song? First of all, I tried researching it and no one can decide on how old it is or where it comes from. There’s some suggested connection between the song and Popeye, but I’ll let you look that up on your own so I can continue ranting.

I know that this song is only a part of the Easter rotation because it’s about a rabbit. is this really appropriate, people? Would Jesus like it if he was awoken from the cave only to use his ressurection to scold Foo Foo? Would fertility goddesses of old feel honored by Foo Foo using the Spring bopping field mice instead of bopping other bunnies in order to reproduce?

What? Why do you look like that? These are serious and totally appropriate questions. No. Shut up! Or I’ll turn you into a goon.

Since Easter and April Fool's Day landed on the same day this year, pulling a prank on the actual day would be too obvious. However, pulling the prank the following weekend would be a "joyful" scene your family would never see coming. Here are a list of suggested pranks (*Disclaimer: I do not actually recommend you try any of theses unless you have unlimited funds, too much free time, and don't think they would leave any permanent emotional scarring):

1. Set-up all of the Easter decor once again and let your family wake up to think they've gone back in time.

2. You can keep repeating #1 to make everyone think they are trapped in a Groundhog's Day scenario.

3. Fill your house with rabbits. Then make everyone else clean up after them.

4. Have Night of the Lepus playing 24-7 on every TV, then hide all remotes and make the TVs impossible to turn off (*Side note: Look up Night of the Lepus if you have no clue what I'm talking about. It's magical)

5. Glue frilly Easter Bonnets to everyone's head while they sleep

6. Cover the front lawn of every house with plastic Easter Grass and replace the street signs with "Welcome to Fluffville."

7. Hide extra eggs which have not been hard boiled, then don't tell anyone about them. When the stench starts, pretend you smell nothing.

8. Replace the chicken eggs with lizard eggs and wait for them to hatch.

9. Give out only licorice jelly beans.

10. Take away the children's candy and tell them that it must be sacrificed or Spring will never come.

11. Paint everything in pastel colors. Ev-er-y-thing.

It will all be so full of the chocolate, egg, Christian, Pagan, and April Fools spirit. Everyone will be impressed that you cared enough to prank them as a surprise. And isn't that real meaning of whichever holiday we're talking about? No. Seriously. I already forgot.

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