Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Have I been waiting for this film for decades? Yes. Did it meet my expectations? Well, I kept my expectations low. That having been said, here’s my brief review.

In case you don’t know the general plot, Lydia, Delia, and Lydia’s daughter, Astrid, are returning to Winter River for Charles’s funeral after he was eaten by a shark. Lydia and Astrid have a strained relationship due several plot points (Lydia’s work on a cheesy paranormal investigator television program, the death of Astrid father/him not being a ghost Lydia can see, and Lydia’s boyfriend/TV manager. Over the years, Lydia has been worried about the return of Beetlejuice who has been waiting for the right opportunity to finally force her into their marriage contract. In the meantime, Beetlejuice and an army of shrunken head guys have been running a bio-exercism business that apparently no on in the Netherworld is fine with now. Adding to these events are two additional complications: Beetlejuice’s ex-wife and Astrid’s first boyfriend. Oh and they through in some more lip syncing scenes for good measure.

Warning SPOILERS AHEAD.

Like, major spoilers.

Seriously, have you watched the movie yet? No, then stop reading.

I’m assuming you’ve seen the film if you are still reading. Here we go.

Things I was annoyed at:

Delia and Lydia should’ve known there was a “murder house” in Winter River. It’s not like the family wasn’t probably still living there in the 90s. This could have been easily fixed with Lydia just saying, “Wait! I remember that! THAT was the house?” when Little Jane told her about it.

Lydia only mentioned Barbara and Adam Maitland once. They were her second set of parents. She was ready to commit suicide knowing they would be on the other side to take care of her. Lydia should have at least mentioned them few more times under her breath and had their wedding photo or sheets photos somewhere in her possessions.

Things I really liked (honestly, I liked most of the movie but these were the standout moments):

  • Lydia’s ex-husband covered in piranhas.

  • The entire Mario Bava flashback sequence.

  • The stop-motion animation scenes.

  • Monica Belushi’s look (she wears staples now).

  • Willem Defoe constantly being handed cups of coffee (can he even really drink it? he’s dead.)

  • The fact that Beetlejuice does NOT go to Hawaii.

  • The idea of Jeffrey Jones not having a head.

  • Winona Ryder’s wardrobe.

  • Jenna Ortega as less-goth than her mom, but still morbid, teenager.

  • Beetlejuice letting Lydia use his powers for a moment of revenge.

  • Michael Keaton and Bryan Adams being a collaboration I never knew I needed.

  • All lines and jokes spoken by Catherine O’Hara.

Hey, does anyone else have MacArthur Park stuck in their head? Or more importantly, is anyone else’s brain trying to automatically replace the lyrics with the Weird Al parody song? Just wondering.

Beetlejuice (Poe-Pourri): Movies about Writing (Copy)

This will be a short one, because it’s based on a short one.

Remember the Beetlejuice cartoon? What? You never watched it? My nostalgia riddled mind will tell you it was amazing . . . so probably best not to trust me. All you really need to know is that Lydia and Beetlejuice are friends in the cartoon, there’s no Barbara and Adam, and it had a lot of little kid humor (so. many. burping. jokes.).

Beetlejuice is freaked out one night reading a book of poems Lydia left at his roadhouse in the Netherworld. I don’t know why the ghost lives in a roadhouse, but I digress. Poe shows up at his house with a rapping raven, a literal steamer trunk, and handfuls of cash which he throws around when he cries about Lenore. I didn’t know writer’s got residual check’s in the afterlife?

The greedy Ghost with the Most invites Poe to stay at the roadhouse as he continues his search through the Netherworld for Lenore. Seriously, where is Poe getting all of this moolah? He was never rich in life. Anyway, Lydia comes over to fangirl over the wailing author while Beetlejuice is driven mad in a montage of Poe tales.

Due to this episode airing when I about seven or eight, I thought Lenore had been a real person, not an allegory for the loss of Poe’s wife and other women he loved. I also thought the Masque of the Red Death was a little mask with a runny nose.

Batman (1989): Movies about Writing

Vicki Vail, the forgotten Batman love interest! This movie gets me right in the childhood (but not Batman Returns because I wasn’t allowed to watch it - my mom thought the Penguin was too violent and scary). It’s a little upsetting that I haven’t watched this in probably twenty years, but I can still quote parts of it. Why hasn’t my brain reused these memory cells for something useful like math. But seriously, HAVE you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?

In case you don’t know, Batman is about the rise of . . . Batman (Michael Keaton), the vigilante who is attempting to protect Gotham City from a general crime wave and specifically from the newest villain The Joker (Jack Nicholson). Meanwhile, Batman’s true identity, billionaire Bruce Wayne, struggles with childhood trauma and finding a work-life balance.

But this is a blog about writers, not heroes. That brings us to Alexander Knox and Vicki Vale, a journalist and photographer attempting to prove that this “Batman” terrified criminals keep ranting about is real. Knox is played by Robert Wuhl (look him up and you’ll say, “Oh! That guy” because you’ve probably seen him in something) and Kim Basinger plays Vale. Vicki and Knox are being mocked by the rest of their co-workers and the police, so they decide to start some undercover work. They get into a party at Wayne manor where Knox tries to interview the top politicians including Harvey Dent (Billy Dee Williams) who never get to see as Two-Face. Wayne is amused by the pair who make jokes about his wealth without knowing he’s listening. He even tells Alfred (Michael Gough) to give Knox a grant.

One of the key plots of this movie is the power of the press. Joker is annoyed that about Knox and Vicki focusing on Batman in the papers. He decided that Knox “has no style”, so he threatens Vicki multiple times insisting on his face being splashed across the paper. Both journalist characters are very stereotypical. They do research. They wisecrack. They put their feet up on the office furniture. Knox is the wise cracker who seems to annoy everyone he interviews and Vale is a serious photographer who is more upset that Batman steals her film of him than she is about a near death experience.

Wednesday: Movies about Writing (Copy)

I’m rounding out my Poe blogs with a writing related piece of media not about Poe or even featuring a living version of him, but where he is a central character.

If you grew up with me, went to school with me, or met me, you probably know that I’m a huge Addams Family fan. I’ve seen the original series multiple times (but confess to only sitting through the 1970s Halloween special once).

Yes, I have seen most Addams Family incarnations and don’t ask me what I thought about those recent animated films unless you want to see my hair burst into flames. I put off watching Wednesday because 1) I loved Adult Wednesday Addams on Youtube written by and starring Melissa Hunter and how could anyone do it better than that (they can’t), 2) Tim Burton keeps breaking my heart, and 3) I was waiting for my boyfriend because he wanted to watch it too. Still, this is not my giving my opinion of the show. This is me talking about depictions of writers and writing in films and TV. (In case you do want my opinion just message me in the comments).

In this Netflix series, Wednesday is an aspiring author of mystery novels featuring a teenage sleuth in a difficult relationship with her mother. Meanwhile, Wednesday is thrust into a mystery at her new school while feeling like she’s living in her mother’s shadow. Yes. Her therapists points out that her real life connections are pretty obvious.

Poe comes into this as the school’s most famous pupil. The yearly house competition teams are named after his stories and the secret society is hidden behind his statue. However, the poem that helps one to figure out the password did not feel like a work of Poe’s. Just saying.

I did enjoy her sitting with perfect posture on her antique typewriter and using her novel as an excuse to be glad when her roommate was angry with her. She keeps her typed pages in a file box with her initials on it which I confess to being jealous of. However, I am really trying to remember what it was like to be in high school, forced into a social life, hunting for murders, AND having time to write! Oh. To be young.

Tim Burton's Studies in Creativity

This will be a long one. There are three movies Tim Burton directed that I think of as his look into the mind of creatives. Technically, the inventor played by Vincent Price in Edward Scissorhands is a creative, but I’m looking more at the idea of taking a deep depth into the minds of artists. Although, I do appreciate how Burton and I both grew up with a healthy Vincent Price fanaticism. Totally, totally, healthy.

Now, understand that I used to love a good Tim Burton film. Beetlejuice was one of my “happy movies” as a little kid (you know, the ones kids watch on repeat until their parents want to “accidentally” destroy the tape). No one at school knew what I was talking about when I mentioned Frankenweenie (the original live-action short, not the animated remake). I frequently quote Mars Attacks! I was obsessed with Sleepy Hollow when it came out. I even loved the episode of Faerie Tale Theatre Burton directed! However I have been very Burton cautious of late (meaning I’ve seen of all his movies, but also blocked several of them out afterwards). If there is a movie that should have been on this list, let me know. However, if anyone suggest Dark Shadows or the Marky Mark Planet of the Apes, I will block you.

Image from https://consequence.net/tag/big-eyes/

Big Eyes - This is probably the most difficult of stories Burton attempted to tell as it is about a woman trapped in an abusive relationship. A part of me can’t help feeling like a woman should have been part of the team to tell Margaret Keane’s ordeal. Perhaps that’s close-minded of me, but sometimes men can’t fully fathom how terrifying being a woman is in a situation like that. The isolation, the anxiety, and the worry for one’s child is only at the surface of the film, being portrayed in one nightmarish scene. They did have the real Margaret Keane as a consultant and the amazing Amy Adams in the part, but it might have been a different movie if a woman had more of a hand in the writing.

The movie does do several things very well. Fist of all, in case you don’t know, the movie is based on the true story of Margaret, an artist and single mother who attempts to make money from her art in the 1950s, when women weren’t hired for anything creative. Most animation studios (Disney especially) didn’t even hire women for anything beyond ink and paint. She marries a man named Walter Keene (played by an intense Christoph Waltz) who sells her stylized paintings of children with large eyes as his own and they become mass-produced best sellers. The frustration and pain of not being recognized for one’s own creativity is shown through the amazingly wild visuals of Tim Burton and the excellent expressions on Amy Adams’s face. Margaret Keane says that she draws the eyes so big because eyes are how she shows the inside of person. Burton attempts to show the same by framing many shots directly on Adams’s face.

Walter threatened her and her daughter many times as she started to object to his lies about the artwork. Something they both always wanted was to be able to live off of art without a day job, something all artists and writers dream of. The difference is, Walter Keane wanted to live off someone else’s art. Margaret and Walter also have different views of the commercial aspects of art which is another thing Burton and the screen writers present in a great way throughout the movie. She feels cheapened by his actions and the way he turns her art into postcards and posters. In addition, when critics negatively review the work, Walter takes it personally, when it’s Margaret who feels the most of what is said.

The idea of the sexism in the world is well-portrayed with Margaret worried about having to lie to her own daughter about the artwork. She’s led to believe by the world around her that it’d better for the family if Walter can sell the work for financial stability. When she tries to sell work under her own name in a slightly different style, she is hit on my art collectors who do not take her seriously. When a female friend who can sense the lies, Walter scares her away with male bravado.

Spoiler alert: Eventually, Margaret escapes from Walter and finds support in religion. Her new community gives her the courage to sue Walter and she has to paint in court in order to prove that the art was hers all along. The real Margaret married a third time to a sports journalist who she says helped her find her voice in the public. I just think it’s a shame that she became famous as Keane and had to keep that name on her artwork.

Big Fish - I know that this is not about someone who needs creativity to as a livelihood, but it’s still about how creativity can be a part of survival. I sometimes think that people forget that this was a damn good movie! It’s very much a human study piece, not an adventure film or spooky love story, which might be why it’s often looked over. And everyone in it does such a good job. I once saw Alison Lohman at a convention and told her just how impressed I was with her mimicking the actions of her older counter-part Jessica Lange. I also told her that my friend and I applauded at the end of Drag Me to Hell (apparently, we were the only Sam Raimi fans in the theater).

The movie is about a journalist Will (Billy Crudup) whose constantly trying to find the truth in the tall tales his father Edward Bloom (Albert Finney/Ewan McGregor) always told before his dad passes away. We learn about his dad the same way he did, through fanciful stories where the dad befriends giants, outsmarts school rivals, saves werewolves, and catches the biggest fish you’ve ever seen using just his wedding ring on the day his son was born. Burton uses his signature set dressing and style in when the audience is within one of the father’s stories. When we return to the real world, the colors are muted, not dull, just not as fantastical, and the filming style draws the eye to the human emotion instead of the action.

Spoiler alert: In Will’s search for fact versus fiction, he and his wife (a photojournalist which I thought was a nice touch that she was also an artist) rehear the many stories Edward created about his own life. Will attempts to pick them apart, digging for what pieces were real like any good investigator would. It isn’t until he meets with a woman he thought his father had an affair with. As the woman, Jenny (Helena Bonham Carter) tells yet another tall tale to Will, she gives him two conclusions about his father. Number one: that there was never another woman for Edward Bloom than Will mother (the Lohman/Lange character). Number two: that everything in Edward Bloom’s life is fantasy except for Will. Will is his reality.

As Edward is in the hospital towards the end of his life, the family doctor (Robert Guillaume) tell Will the truth of the day of his birth. Will is hungry for the knowledge which is a very typical birth story other than the fact that Will was born a week early which was why Edward was still on the road at the time and regretted on being there. The doctor adds, “And I suppose if I had to choose between the true version and an elaborate one involving a fish and a wedding ring, I might choose the fancy version.” Still, Will counters with, “I kind of liked your version.” When all is said and done, Will does finally understand why the tall tales are so important to his father. Will makes up his own version of his father’s passing, telling it to him on his deathbed, an elaborate story of a hospital escape and a return to the river where all of the most important characters of Edward’s life have come to see him off. And Edward Bloom becomes his own story - he’s released into the river, turning into a big fish.

Edward Bloom tries to tell his son Will that they are both storytellers in different ways. The point of the film is not that the father is a liar or delusional. The point is that, in his creative mind, the world could be so much bigger and more interesting than it really was. And that was something he wanted his son to have - a world where anything could happen. At the end of the film, you find that Will continues his father’s legacy by telling his son all of the tall tales he grew up with.

Ed Wood - One of the greatest Tim Burton films of all time! This is a masterpiece of the artistic mind from the joys to the failures, the moments of genius and the crippling depression. Burton does an excellent job of making his movie look like a cheesy monster movie and everyone in it overacts on purpose. What makes this film really good is not historical accuracy (I’ve been led to understand that much of this is really toned down when it comes to alcoholism and personal relationships), but how it gives the feel of anxiety, failure, and rooting for the little guy. A delusional little guy.

If you are unaware, Johnny Depp plays Edward Wood Jr., the king of bad cinema who develops a friendship with an aging Bela Lugosi played by Martin Landau. Ed desperately wants to be the next Orson Welles, writing, directing, and starring in pictures. However, his slapped together together style and choice to hire actors made up of his friends and financial backers. Ed is optimistic, refusing to believe that his movies are terrible.

Wood’s big break in the story is Glen or Glenda, a movie close to his heart as it’s about a man who dresses as a woman, something that he’s been hiding from his girlfriend Dolores (Sarah Jessica Parker). The movie is filmed over a short period with Wood in the lead and Lugosi as a scientist. Ed uses all first takes, filming in locations where he has no permit, and fills in the in-between shots with random stock footage. He’s disappointed when he’s told it’s the worst film ever made. This does not seem to drag Ed down as he looks for people to invest in his next picture Bride of the Atom and the Bride of the Monster. He, Bela, and his group of friends who Dolores calls abnormal, try to convince the masses that his movies are worth it. Eventually, Dolores leaves him, fed up when he gives a better role in the Bride of the Monster to a woman who gave money to the production. The production suffers many problems like being thrown out a studio and having to steal an octopus prop. The biggest issue is Bela’s morphine addiction, the only thing that keeps him going as an out-of-work actor who feels forgotten by the world. The best scene is when Lugosi is swearing a blue streak about Boris Karloff.

Despite his own issues, Ed tries to save Bela after a suicide attempt, checking him into rehab and visiting every day. This is how he meets Kathy (Patricia Arquette), a young woman who doesn’t mind that Ed is a transvestite obsessed with angora and becomes his biggest cheerleader. Sadly, Bela passes after a final moment of feeling like an amazing actor where people ask for his autograph. There is a true feel of how Hollywood destroys people, leaving them behind as the next big trend comes along.

Spoiler alert: Ed convinces a church to give money for his most famous movie Grave Robbers from Outer Space (later called Plan 9 from Outer Space). He uses his last footage of Bela and tells a story around it, hiring Kathy’s chiropractor as a Bela double. The rest of the cast is made up of his usual friends, wrestler Tor Johnson, and camp TV personality Vampira. The more he films, the more the church leaders object and criticize. They ask him why he allows the cardboard tombstones to fall over on set and demand one of their church members be cast in the film. Ed has a breakdown, donning his favorite sweater and running to famed Hollywood restaurant Musso and Franks. Sitting in a booth is Orson Welles (played by Vincent D’Onofrio, but voiced by Maurice LaMarche). Ed runs over and the pair have a short but meaningful conversation about how studios and producers can destroy an artist’s vision. Welles says, “Visions are worth fighting for.” Emboldened by his hero’s words, Wood returns to set insisting that everything will be done his way.

The movie is not a happy, uplifting story of overcoming the system. Still, Ed Wood is the essence of a creative mind run wild. He’s too busy coming up with ideas and making them come to life in his own unique way to realize that he is not the brilliant man he thinks he is.

Under the Bridge: Movies about Writing

Even those this is about a mini-series, I’m keeping this one short. Under the Bridge is the fictionalized account of the investigation into the murder of teenager Reena Virk in 1997. The series was based on two books, one by Virk’s father and Under the Bridge by Rebecca Godfrey.

Godfrey (played by Riley Keough who I say looks more like Priscilla, but my boyfriend looks more like Elvis) is made a character in the story even though she didn’t started researching the event until after the investigation began. As the series is more about the life that was lost and the societal problems which led a group of youths to violently kill more than the pure horror and morbid curiosity of true crime.

Godfrey is portrayed as a journalist trying to write a book about the young women who feel abandoned by her home city. She returns home just as her former girlfriend Cam, a local police officer played by Oscar winner Lily Gladstone, arrests a large group of teens for the murder of their classmate. As the different events leading to the death come to light, Godfrey develops a connection with one of the teens involved, Warren Glowatski.

The show brings up several ethical and important questions about true crime writing. Godfrey struggles with how much involvement she can have as a journalist. Cam points out that she can’t tell if Godfrey’s actions throughout the movie are genuine or for the sake of her book. The moral justification of her interviewing any of the kids when the trial is going on is questioned, especially as she seems to overlook the victim. At first, her closeness to Glowatski has her focused solely on how the justice system is railroading him (a homeless Native kid) and allowing middle class white girl Kelly Ellard to have a fairer trial. However, in focusing on these two, she forgets to tell the story of Reena and her family. Guilt and thoughts of her own family make Godfrey go back over her book and try to find out more about Reena. She presents the pages to Reena’s parents, apologizing that she didn’t do more in the first place.

Although, it is a little ironic that the show was about how writer must be so careful when writing a true story when they completely rewrote Godfrey’s life and involvement in order to have a better television series.

Breakfast at Tiffany's: Movies about Writing

People often forget that Paul, the main character of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, is a published writer.

In case you don’t know the story because you’ve been living under a rock, Paul (George Peppard) has been set up in a new apartment by the wealthy woman who keeps him as her boytoy. There, he meets the eccentric call girl Holly Golightly (Audrey Hepburn) - also a very racist stereotype played by Mickey Rooney, but the less said about that, the better. The pair become friends, at first through his fascination of her personality and her insistence that he looks like her beloved brother Fred. Paul stands by her through parties, love affairs, her rather gross past (really - more people don’t talk about the fact that she was freaking child bride!) trips to Sing Sing, and, of course, visiting Tiffany’s. He falls in love with her despite her repeatedly saying that she could never belong to another human being just like her nameless cat (who lives in her apartment and is dependent on her for nourishment). This is Hollywood, so you know it will all works out okay. Let’s focus on Paul’s job as a writer.

One of my favorite scenes in the film is when Holly finds out what he does and calls him out for not having any ribbon in his typewriter. He says, “I’m a writer, I guess” and her fantastic response is, “You guess? don’t you know?” Let us all learn from that moment. Paul has one book of short stories which were dirty, “angry, sensitive, intensely felt, and that dirtiest of all dirty words - promising. Or so said The Times Book Review, October 1, 1956.”. Holly even convinces him to sign the library’s copy, which the librarian gets terribly bent out of shape about it. Most importantly, Holly gives Paul a typewriter ribbon. Even though his married girlfriend want him working on a great American novel, a project he’s been slogging through for years, Paul instead writes a short story about Holly. He earns his first paycheck for his own work for the first time in years. This and his feelings for Holly give him the liberty to break away from his sugar mama. And even when he no longer has Holly, he continues to write.

Truman Capote isn’t in this, but if you read the original book you can hear him behind the main character, a struggling New York writer who is observing his usual friend with both criticism and amusement. The film is much different, but at least in the story you know that Cat is okay in the end.

Violence: Movies about Writing

Film noir time!

Ann is, naturally, an investigative journalist who’s been using her writing skills and a camera hidden in her watch in order to blow the lid off a group of cooks, misleading veterans into breaking up unions with riots. Even the leader of this organization, True Dawson - best mob boss name ever - has no clue that his secretary is a spy. However, Ann ends up in an accident causing (dun dun dun) amnesia!

A mysterious fiance, Steve Fuller, claims her at the hospital and takes her back to the the organization where she gets him a job. In her addled state, Ann believes in everything the organization stands for and that her boss, Dawson, is a benevolent leader. When a young woman shows up looking for her missing husband, Fuller confuses Ann by telling her get away.

SPOILER ALERT: As Ann suspects that Fuller is a bad guy and rats him out to Dawson, her story on the organization is printed. Nick from It’s a Wonderful Life roughs Ann up and, tada, instant cure for amnesia! All she needed was a healthy dose of assault! She, the mournful wife, and her publisher make a plan to save Fuller and stop a riot the organization is planning. Instead, Ann is captured, but she and Fuller (who is an undercover cop) manage to warn the strikers about the upcoming attack. The bad guys end up killing each other. Fuller and Ann become engaged for reals. And Ann is famous as the “Pretty girl reporter” who exposed a “phony group”. Okay, so it’s not a great plot. In fact, I had a little trouble following it in the first fifteen to twenty minutes. I kept thinking Fuller secretly worked for the bad guys and then it turned out he was spying on the bad guys and the bad guys were clueless as their secrets kept getting out . . .

Anyway, I want to point out one scene. Ann is asked to make a speech when she still has (gasp) amnesia. She is such a good writer, that she rattles off an impassioned string of sentences without really knowing what she’s talking about. A good writer should always have the power of the bullshit.

Merrily We Live: Movies about Writing

It’s 1938. The Great Depression is hitting high proportions. Mass numbers of Americans are out of work. Fathers are abandoning families in shame. Therefore, let’s watch a film about a pair of rich dopes and their “too clever for their own good” grown children. Personally, if you want a great film with a similar premise, watch My Man Godfrey.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Mrs. Kilbourne (the ditzy matriarch played by Billie Burke) insists on bringing home “tramps” to work in their home. She gives them jobs in service, forgets their names, forces them to read patronizing books about what they need to fix about themselves, then is shocked when they rob the family and run off.

Enter Wade Rawlins (Brian Aherne) a man who stops at the house to use the phone after his car breaks down. Mrs. Kilbourne mistakes his oil drenched appears as poverty and hires him as the new chauffeur before he has an opportunity to correct her. He sees all of this as instantly amusing and decides to just be the family driver. Despite their misgivings about mother bringing in someone else without references, Rawlins begins to grow upon the family after he rescues grumpy Mr. Kilbourne from a drunken night. Two of the Rawlins children, bratty Kane (Tom Brown aka Gilbert from Anne of Green Gables) and animal loving Marion (Bonita Granville aka the original Nancy Drew) appreciate Rawlins handling of their father. However, it’s the eldest daughter, Geraldine known as Jerry (Constance Bennett) who he has the instant connection with. Only Mr. Kilbourne fails to see Rawlins merits and worries he’ll be an embarrassment at their important dinner with a senator.

But au contraire! Rawlins is mistaken as a guest and charms the pants off the senator. Moreover, the senator’s daughter wants Rawlins to charm the pants off her (ba-bum-bum-tsk!). Rawlins decides to mess with the family and act the part of a guest in their house while Mr. Kilbourne tries to get the senator to help his business. By the way, I have no idea what Mr. Kilbourne’s business is. Anyway, Jerry gets jealous and fights with Rawlins. He exits swiftly for a mysterious destination.

Meanwhile, in a nearby town, police have found Rawlins’s smashed up car over a cliff. They report him as deceased to a local general store owner (a man that Rawlins borrowed the car from) who reveals that Rawlins is a noted novelist who fishes in the area. Oh hey! Character actor Willie Best! Oh dang, he’s playing a stereotype.

The newspapers report how famous author E. Wade Rawlins has died suddenly with a photograph to confirm to the Kilbournes exactly who they had working for them. There’s a ton of fainting as people think their seeing a ghost and the long suffering butler declares he will become a tramp. All I can think is, “Whelp, Rawlins has lots of material for his next novel.”

La Boheme: Movies about Writing

Hey, you know that Broadway show Rent that you were super into as a theater kid in high school, then just sort of forgot about when you got older. It was based on an opera, which was based on a book of sketches in lives of starving French artist in the early 1830s. What I watched is film version made in 1926 staring Lillian Gish and John Gilbert. Just to repeat - I’m writing a blog about a silent film based on an opera based on a book all of which inspired Rent. Spoilers ahead.

“Would you light my candle?
What are you staring at?”

- From not this version

Rodolphe is a playwright disgusted that he has to sacrifice his art by writing puff pieces for a local paper in order to help pay the rent of his shabby flat. He shares the flat with Marcel, an artist, Schaunard, a musician, and Colline, a philosopher (played by an Edward Everett Horton that was so young I didn’t even recognize him). The fifth member of their group is Musette, Marcel’s girlfriend who usually has some money because of her job . . . a job left unsaid in the silent film. Get it? Unsaid? Silent film? Oh fine. Yes. Musette is a sex worker. They invite into their circle Mimi, a seamstress who lives in the same building and struggles to survive. While the others make light of their meager earnings and eked out existence, Mimi is determined to survive to the point where she works long hours in her freezing garret apartment without a coat. Why no coat? She had to pawn it of course.

The circle of “Bohemians” are clever, boisterous, and usually drunk. They declare the hardships of their life simply they way it must be for them to be geniuses of the thinking world. I think in the opera there are more side plots featuring Marcel, Musette, and the others but these have been left out to keep the run time at 90 minutes. You don’t really get as much of the comradery as you would expect in a movie about an artists community. When do they dance on a table in a restaurant in a show of solidarity to their non-conformist lifestyle?

Anyway, when Mimi declares her love to him, Rodolphe becomes a play writing fool, which is great for his art, but not for the bills. As he’s neglecting his job selling stories to the local paper and Mimi’s work has slowed, she works herself to the bone trying to keep them both fed. In the opera she leaves to be mistress to a wealthy viscount. In 1830, either a woman has integrity or a full belly, not both. In the film, the viscount only promises to show Rodolphe’s plays to a theater manager he knows in exchange for Mimi’s company. Rodolphe drives her away in a fit of jealousy like a punk. Seriously, he’s a whiny brat who blames his outbursts on artistic integrity. Then, too late, he figures out everything Mimi has done for him, after batting her around some. Swell fellow.

Anyway, feeling guilty and realizing how sick Mimi is, Rodolphe make the grand gesture that he will give up his craft to earn money through a day job. Martyr Mimi won’t allow him to do such a thing. She runs away to the streets of Paris where he can’t find her. Meanwhile, Rodolphe writes a masterpiece that make him a great success in the theater world. By the time Mimi comes back to him, she’s dying of consumption. The whole group gathers around her as she declares her love one last time and states that she is happy. The end.

Therefore, remember folks - suffer for your art and you too can be a genius who loses your girlfriend to tuberculous.

Lucky Partners: Movies about Writing . . . Sort of

This is gonna be short as this isn’t actually a movie about the writer in question, but about the illustrator.

Ginger Rogers plays Jean, a bookstore clerk who believes David Grant, the caricature artist in her neighborhood (Ronald Colman), brings her good luck. She suggests they go in on sweepstakes ticket together as she’s wanting her money to put away at the time of her marriage to school friend Fred (Jack Carson). Grant agrees but only if she allows him to use his part of the winnings for her honeymoon. When the money doesn’t win as much as Jean hoped, David offers to take her on a trip as a “social experiment”. He’s a perfect gentleman until an elderly couple approaches them at the hotel ballroom and mysteriously asks Jean and David to follow them. No, it turns out they are not swingers, they are the authors of Jean’s favorite children’s books who come back to that spot and recreate a cherished memory. Being authors of stories for kids, this cherished memory includes a foot bridge and a wishing well which they ask Jean and David to through pebbles into. There’s some kissing then Freddie shows up, accusing Jean of cheating. All of this comes to a conclusion in a court room after David is suspected of stealing a car he bought in Jean’s name. As it turns out, he is not David Grant, bohemian cartoonists. He’s actually Paul Knight Somerset, the illustrator of a famous folktale book deemed lewd by a judge who threw Somerset in jail. Somerset felt cast down by this because, according to Jean, “artists aren’t like ordinary people, they’re sensitive”, even though the book and its art are later declared a modern classic included on university reading lists. Anyway, Jean and Davi . . . I mean, Paul are set free by the judge to finish falling in love and all that rot.

But I want to see this folklore book, damn it! Also, where was the author he worked with in all of this? Didn’t he have to go to jail too? I need more backstory!

The Great Race: Movies about Writing

Despite this being a long film, this will be a short blog. Let’s talk about determination in a writer.

This comedic masterpiece directed by Blake Edwards is meant to be a nod to the melodramas of the silent era. The Great Leslie (Tony Curtis is a master of all trades with a dazzling smile and his perfectly clean clothes. As its the turn of the century full of new innovation, Leslie has agreed to an automobile race against his rival, the mustached Professor Fate (played by my classic Hollywood crush - Jack Lemmon) from New York to Paris. Keenan Wynn and Peter Falk play their assistants respectfully. Still, it is Natalie Wood’s character Maggie Dubois that I’m going to talk about.

Miss Dubois is a suffragist attempting to live an “emancipated” life full of smoking cigars and making grand speeches. She bullies her way into a job on a newspaper and enters the race in order to report on it. This is after both Leslie and Fate refuse to take her with them in their cars. She brings carrier pigeons with her to send her stories and photos back to the newspaper office in New York. This woman is so dedicated to proving her skills as a writer, she literally works on a news story about a bar fight while standing in the middle of bar fight. Each time she meets with a problem that will keep her from getting her scoop, she fibs and cheats in a most charming ways possible. Granted, by the end of the movie, it’s more about just finishing the race than the story, but her determination until she no longer has her pigeons is admirable.

Plus, she kicks ass in the massive pie fight in the movie and I’d like to think that is a secret writer skill we never get to explore.

Things to Celebrate May the 4th Be With You…That You Shouldn't Do at Work (Copy)

* it’s technically May the 6th but know you’re still marathoning Mandolorian
1. Don’t stick cinnamon rolls to either side of your head. Let's face it, not everyone can have that luscious wig they threw on Carrie fisher. But if you come in wearing breakfast pastries over your ears not only will your bosses wonder about your sanity, your coworkers will be annoyed that you didn't bring them any. Plus, you'll attract ants.

2. Just because you're wearing a robe-like white dress without a bra, you are not automatically a princess. Stop trying to put medals on the big hairy guy in the next cubicle.

3. Searching through the art installation rock garden for Kyber crystal will not be taken with a grain of salt by office security. I'm pretty sure this is the workplace equivalent of digging through a fountain for pennies. Security won't understand that you need it for your lightsaber.

4. Don't spend your whole lunch period trying to pick a fight about ending of Rogue One.

5. Don't try to use the Force to throw plastic cutlery at your coworkers

6. When you overhear other people saying that they are not afraid of your boss, don’t go up to them and whisper in a croaking tone, “You will be. You. Will. Be.”

7. Don't tell your supervisor that you sense is great darkness in her/him

8. Don't announce to everyone that you are going to use the restroom by loudly humming the Imperial March 

9. When you steal someone else's yogurt from the fridge and they catch you, don't declare that you are a smuggler and it's what you do, sweetheart. If they question you further, don't then additionally declare that you are only there to get paid.

10. Don't fill out reports while muttering under your breath, “I am one with the force. The force is one with me.”

11. Every time the copy machine acts up, don't start pleading with it by using the words, “Droid please!”

12. Don't tell people to get out of your cubicle by singing the Bea Arthur song from the Christmas special.

13. Don't find your coworkers service dog and try to explain to it what a helmet is (or ask it to raise your orphaned children if you are ever killed upon Endor).

14. Don't reply to every piece of office gossip with, “Nooooo! That's not true! That's impossible!”

15.  And finally when your boss tells you that you have been fired for your strange shenanigans, don't tell them that if they strike you down it will only make you more powerful.