Twixt: Movies about Writing

I feel like Francis Ford Coppola is such a crap-shoot of a director. There’s chances you’ll get THE GODFATHER, one of the best pieces of cinema of all time, and chances you’ll get. . . whatever Twixt was. I feel like he was trying to be David Lynch, but put too much story in for that.

The awkward opening of the film really spoke to me. Val Kilmer (as horror writer Hall Baltimore) comes to a small town for an event only to find there’s no bookstore. All this is narrated by Tom Waits because . . . why not, I guess. The author sits just inside the hardware store with a “$19.99 Sale” sign pointing at his head as he tries to peddle his wares to people who won’t make eye contact. I feel ya, poorly named author Hall Baltimore, I feel ya. Also, super jealous of the portable writing desk and chair which fold down into a briefcase sized carrier.

The local sheriff (Bruce Dern) turns out to be a fan and wants Baltimore to collaborate with him on a book about a series of murders currently plaguing the town. While trying to avoid the morbid sheriff, Baltimore discovers that Edgar Allan Poe (played by Ben Chaplin) once stayed at the run-down hotel, so he pours out alcohol in dedication to the horror writer who came before. (Also, do you get it? The main character is named Baltimore and he’s in a town famous for Poe staying there one night. Huh. Huh).

Baltimore experiences strange dreams while in the town of a strange girl (Elle Fanning), child abuse, murder, and a lot of gray light filters. Within these dreams, Poe appears to guide Baltimore to safety. The girl’s name is Virginia which I’m sure is another Poe reference. Poe in this is depicted as a wise mentor who knows he’s famous (wise not so sure, but I’m pretty sure Poe acted a tad conceited) and he offered Baltimore writing advice. I confess, I kinda liked this part with the pontificating author talking about “The Raven” like it was a deeper philosophical problem than just a poem.

Poe uses his own love for the wife he lost, Virginia Clemm, to explain the obsession of beauty mixed with death (while Baltimore is watching someone being walled up alive). I really struggled to see what Poe’s words had to do with the Virginia of the film being abused and somehow existing in two different times as well as to Baltimore’s grief over his own daughter’s death. Then you get to the end and you shout at the screen, “Really?!”

I found it really strange that Joanne Whalley (actress and Kilmer’s ex-wife) had a cameo. Yes, I found that stranger than the movie itself because I was too busy counting plot holes. The part where Kilmer is talking to himself as he writes didn’t really feel authentic. It felt like an author riffing in front of a mirror before having to host a celebrity roast. I don’t blame Kilmer for this. I’m choosing to be annoyed with Francis Ford Coppola. This was clearly just a re-enactment of himself trying to write this over-complicated script.

Poe Rant

The other day I was a taking a tiptoe through the addictive tulips known as social media and I saw a meme like this:

I instantly knew this was not Poe. By looking through the comments I found a mix of people stating their love for Poe without realizing that he never said this and people who revealed the true author - a contemporary poet named Sade Andria Zabala.

How must this poet feel knowing that this quote is credited to an man long dead? And why do people keep sharing it? Comments state that it is incorrect and people know the true author yet the meme sits there, forever in the void known as the internet. WHY? JUST WHY?

Rant over.

The Raven (1935): Movies about Writing

Have I mentioned before my adoration of Boris Karloff? What? That creeps you out? Psh. Fine. Still gonna talk about him.

The 1930s were a big decade for horror especially for Universal Studios. They slapped together many films that featured their star monsters like Karloff and Bela Lugosi. This one is one of the better ones where Lugosi plays Dr. Vollin, a celebrated neurosurgeon called upon to save a judge’s adult daughter after a car accident. Jean, the daughter, survives and Dr. Vollin become friends with her and her fiancee Jerry. All of his care and attention is a thin mask of his true intentions - an obsession with Jean. Meanwhile, Vollin is begged for help from a murderer and bank robber, Bateman (Karloff), who wants a new face and a second chance without violence.

What no one is taking into account is that Vollin is a Poe fanatic - attempting to fill a home collection with all sorts of artifacts. He fills his basement with the torture devices from Poe’s most notable horror tales. This is not a man who wants to help Bateman and give up a woman he wants. Vollin partially destroys Bateman’s face, stating that he will only fix it if the criminal will do his evil bidding (this is a really cool scene where Karloff shoots a series of mirrors while Lugosi laughs).

The doctor tells the story of Poe through the fiction not the true man. To him, Poe was an genius driven mad by a love he could never have - the love of Lenore. And this lost love tortured the author until he wrote about torture. Boy. This doctor gives Poe more credit than I would.

Poe is never actually in the movie, but he is central to the plot and there is an actor playing him in a dance sequence. The actor recites the raven as Jean dances in flowing veils. The scene is meant to capture the grief and more notably the obsessive behavior of both Poe and Dr. Villon. The dance is called “the Spirit of Poe”.

I’m not going to give away the ending, but I’ll just tell you that there’s a pit, there’s a pendulum, and a lot more crazy laughing. And the doctor declares that he is getting revenge on behalf of Poe!

Dickens of London (Nightmare): Movies about Writing

I cheated. I did not want to watch this entire program right now . . . because it is thirteen episodes of low quality BBC programing . . . so I only watched the Poe episode. I’ll try to go back and watch the whole show someday, maybe. If I have thirteen hours to spare.

Here we go. Episode eleven of the 1970s British mini-series opens with jaunty nineteenth century music and the word “Nightmare” in a lovely cursive. Yes, I’m really feeling the nightmare now. Good job, production team. Dickens is telling the story of his first trip to the United States (he famously hated the U.S. and the episode really leans into the idea that his wife being ill on the trip effected his mood). A hysterical Catherine Dickens declares she’s sick of her husband’s crusade to create international copyright laws and (this one is gross) that he should stop pointing out that American slavery steals more money from the English than from “the Black man”. Really, Charlie? Really. I knew Poe was a racist raced around Antebellum Southern values (I never said I thought he was good many, just a good writer), but you Dickens! You’re my progressive writer hero. At least I still have Louisa May Alcott. No one tell me anything bad about her!

Anyway, he uses mesmerism on Catherine in order to put her to sleep and to the lobby of their hotel where a short story writer and critic awaits an audience. Why look at that! It’s Edgar Allan Poe! Being played by a man who looks too old to play him (I’m starting to notice that’s really a common problem movies). Poe declares how grand Dickens work on copyright has been and then fanboys a great deal over Barnaby Rudge (for those of you who don’t know, Barnaby Rudge is the book with a pet raven named Grip as one of the key characters, based on Dickens’s own pet). Poe for his part tries to abstain from drink, but Dickens insists. I like this idea of Poe trying to keep his cool in front of his hero, but he caves super quick to a single glass of wine.

Next scene has the pair of famous writers stumbling in the streets playing some kind of game that sort of reminded me of when my childhood friends and I would play Charlie’s Angels (this game consisted of running from building corner to building corner with our hands up in a gun position). Still, the party is over when Dickens witnesses a moment of Poe melancholy when the slightly older man craves approval of his poetry.

Poe invites Dickens to witness a mesmerism experiment which is just the short story “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar” played out. A previously uncomfortable and giddy Poe turns into a devious monster more fascinated with the torture of Valdemar’s soul than how you would imagine the author to be in reality. There’s maniacal laughter and everything. I’m . . . I’m really not sure what I was supposed to take away from this? Suggestions?


Time Squad (Every Poe has a Silver Lining): Movies about Writing

Remember Time Squad? No? That’s okay I barely remember it myself. I know it came out when I was in high school and I was more interested in Powerpuff Girls, Daria, and the Justice League cartoon (did you ever watch the Justice League cartoon? It was soooo gooooodddd). Tangent over.

Anyway, this was a short lived series about three time cops, Otto Osworth (Pamela Adlon), Buck Tuddrussel (Rob Paulsen), and the robot Larry 3000 (Mark Hamill) who are supposed to fix mistakes in the timeline. They are summoned back to 1845 and visit Edgar Allan Poe (Paul Greenberg) who has become a lavender suited fancy man with a collection of stuffed animals and a garden full of tacky statues. The team is appalled when they hear this Poe’s verse about a bear returning his fanny pack (hehe fanny).

The Time Squad takes Poe to a series of depressing places in hopes of bringing him back to his dark and sinister works. Instead, the happy-go-lucky man passes out party hats, dresses as a clown, and takes advice from greeting cards one assumes he wrote himself. Side note: Best joke comes when he changes into his clown costume behind the curtain of an invalid man.

Spoiler alert: The mission is finally accomplished when Poe’s baking skills are criticized. He goes postal, becomes a depressed shell of a man, and the Time Squad finds their victory hollow. Although this whole concept makes for a darkly funny cartoon, when you think about it, it’s truly awful. They broke a man trying to get his metal health in order. I don’t . . . I don’t have a joke for that.

The Tell-Tale Heart: Movies about Writing

“To those who are squeamish or react nervously to shock, we suggest that when you hear this sound . . . [heart beating] close your eyes and do not look at the screen again until it stops.”

Oh 1960, you magnificent bastard of horrible film making. Start your film with a warning. That will surely improve it. This is another low budget British horror (classic Doctor Who was my childhood babysitter so sometimes I forget to realize just how terrible the production value on some of these films really is) loosely based on Poe’s short story, but also briefly reflecting on the man himself.

The film opens with Edgar having a nightmare that causes him to lash out and scream. A housekeeper and a man named Carl come in, give him some drug he sticks up his nose (yep- snuff will cure it), and leave him alone to hang his head mournfully over a desk. There is a weird cut to Edgar then going to a bar, being tempted by a saucy wench, and going home to look at tastefully naughty photos. Apparently, he wrestles with some issues of a carnal nature, but before he can do anything that could make God cry, Edgar becomes infatuated with a beautiful woman who moves into the neighborhood. This leads to obsession, a lot of pervy spying, non-consensual hugging, a love triangle, scandalous displays of public affection, a cameo by Rue Morgue, a murder most fowl, and the usual beating of the hideous heart expected from this title.

SPOILER ALERT:

You might be wondering, is Edgar our beloved writer? Yes and no. At the beginning of the film, the housekeeper calls him Mr. Poe. Despite the subtitles on my TV continually calling him Poe, the rest of the characters call him Mr. Marsh and he awkwardly introduces himself to the woman as Marsh. Why is this? Bad editing? Well, yes this film is not well edited, but in this case the name change was intentional.

You see, it wall a dream! Carl comes in a second time, wakes up Poe in a house that is far too nice to belong to that struggling writer, and the real Edgar sees the same woman his dream self was obsessed with. Oh no! That was a sarcastic oh no, by the way.

Torture Garden: Movies about Writing

It’s Poe birthday!

Only Britain would rip off it’s own stuff. In this case, a production company, one of many, is copying Hammer Horror complete with a role for Peter Cushing. However, this film goes the Italian route of horror anthology so of the four stories I’m only going to focus on the one about Poe. By the way, just so I don’t ruin my own reputation as a bad horror film aficionado, I want to make it clear that I sit through the entire film. There’s killer kitty and it’s super cute.

The entire framing story is a group of people at a carnival are drawn into see their fate by Burgess Meredeth dressed like a Faustian gentleman devil. Each person witnesses possible terrors that could take place within their own lives, each one pushed too hard by a desire.

Jack Palance (who I always first think of as the crime boss from Tim Burton’s Batman - uh oh, my age is showing) sees a vision of himself being allowed to view one of the greatest Poe collections in the world belonging to Peter Cushing’s character. The scene where they passed around a first volume of poetry made me uncomfortable. Put on gloves! The oils in your hands are ruining them! Right, right. These are prop books. Not real first editions. I’m fine.

HOLY CRAP! Then they are smoking pipes and waving candlesticks over hundred year old manuscripts! These are the worst collectors of academia I’ve ever seen! Sorry. Sorry. I’m fine.

Some things I really liked in this segment were how the pair of fanatics gush over how Poe was a great writer of “fantasy”. They discuss his obsession with death, but still don’t call him a horror writer. Technically, Poe’s poems and most of his other stories besides the most famous ones are more in the realm of low fantasy or detective stories. The two men also point out that he played the flute (which I didn’t know, but according to several sources I found such as the Poe Society of Baltimore is totally true).

SPOILER ALERT:

Cushing, so impressed with Palance’s knowledge and shared obsession, agrees to show him the most valued part of his family’s Poe collection, items his father and grandfather gathered for decades. When Palance accuses Cushing of fabricating some of the original manuscripts since they are written on modern paper, Cushing finally reveals that his grandfather didn’t just collect Poe’s stuff, he collect the man himself. Turns out, he brought poor Poe back to life and the family kept him locked up in a basement surrounded by decor from a Spirit Halloween store. This Poe (played by B actor Hedger Wallace) is spooky, cryptic, and covered in dust. I find this simply rude. If you bring a guy back from the dead, at least clear the cobwebs off him every once in a while.

Altered Carbon (Out of the Past): Movies about Writing

I confess to never having watched Altered Carbon before. My boyfriend watched the first season then never went back and watched the second season. I decided to just start from the beginning with the first episode. Whose up for some cyberpunk?

In the 2300s, the consciousness of people can be transferred between bodies. James Purefoy plays billionaire who brings a specialist mercenary solider named Takeshi Kovacs back to life in a new body (Joel Kinnaman) in order to find out who murdered his previous rich guy body. The show is about how the solider (who was previously Japanese so the body switching seems kinda rude) adjusts to the future he’s woken up to. Meanwhile, a police investigator named Kristen Ortega (Martha Higareda) has a vendetta against Purefoy. Oh hey, Angelica Schuyler!

Poe is played by Chris Connor. Oh wait, you want to know why Edgar Allen Poe is in the year 2384? He’s an AI who is fashioned to look and somewhat behave as the Poe who died in the 1800s (including a gambling problem which I understand comes up in other episodes).

In the first episode, Poe is introduced at the proprietor of the Raven Hotel who over uses words like bleak. Still, they attempt to give him poetic flare. However, his AI personality makes him possessive and protective of Kovacs to the point of taking out a bunch of bad guys with a shotgun. I know Poe was in the military briefly, but I will never believe he was that good of a shot.

Man Who Came to Dinner: Movies about Writing

What is one of the greatest Christmas movies that’s not actually about Christmas? No, not Die Hard, but that’s in the top five. No! Not Gremlins! Gremlins is super about Christmas! The Mogwi was a present for Pete’s sake!

Nope, I’m talking about one of the early non-Christmas Christmas films The Man Who Came to Dinner, a tale of wit and grumpy celebrity. Monty Woolley plays Sheridan Whiteside, a radio personality and writer known for his intellect and biting remarks. Bette Davis is cast in one of her few comedic roles as his secretary Maggie Cutler, one of the only human beings who can put up with him because she gives back all the insults he gives. Sherry (as his close friends call him) is having dinner with a prominent family in a small town as a favor to a friend when he slips on ice and damages his hip. Stuck at the home of what he considers his inferiors, wheelchair-bound Sherry starts to turn the wealthy household upside down. Meanwhile, Maggie starts to live her own life for the first time by dating local newspaper man Bert Jefferson (Richard Travis). The cast also includes Grant Mitchell and Billie Burke as the rich homeowners stuck with Whiteside’s winning personality, Mary Wickes as a frazzled nurse, Ann Sheridan as a diva movie star named Loraine who Maggie despises, Reginald Gardiner as a charming member of the Hollywood set named Beverly (yes, he is a man named Beverly), and Jimmy Durante as Banjo - a Goucho Marx parody.

There is so much I could gush about this film - how Sherry’s friends include Chruchill and Eleanor Roosevelt, the penguins and octopus he receives for Christmas, the murderers and Japanese businessmen he invites to this house that is not his, and the many fantastic insults he gives. The writing in this is brilliant in order to match with the main character’s inspiration - Alexander Woollcott. Look him up. He’s a very interesting historical personality and writer. However, this is a blog about writing so let’s talk about writing.

Since Whiteside is a famous wordsmith, one of the very first things that happens is his doctor presents him with a stack of papers as thick as a cinder block and asks him to read through it. This is, of course, the doctor’s memoirs which Sherry pretends to be interested in so the doctor will do as he asks. The bigger writer who presents himself to Sherry is Bert. He is willing to enter a battle of wits in order to get the interview he needs for his paper. Mostly this comes down to Sherry tricking him out of money here and there. When Bert starts dating Maggie, he lets her read a play he’s been working on. He, himself, does not bring the play to Sherry’s attention, but Maggie does as the same time as announcing that she’s quitting in order to peruse a life with Bert.

The play is described as being quite good, however, Sherry is terrified of change and does not want Maggie to quit. Therefore, he uses this good work of writing in order to destroy all of her hopes. Yep, this is a comedy. I won’t give the whole thing away and notice that I’m not using any quotes from the film this time because you should really experience it for yourself. I will say that Hollywood caricatures who come in and out of the story provide ample shenanigans to fix everything. The point I am trying to make is that Bert’s play is of a standard that Sherry is able to use it in order to create absolute chaos.

And isn’t that the true spirit of the holiday season - chaos.

Doctor Who (The Return of Doctor Mysterio): Movies about Writing

Here’s a short blog on a Doctor Who episode from the Capaldi years. Have I mentioned that I love Capaldi as Doctor Who? He’s so delightfully grumpy.

The Christmas Special entitled “The Return of Doctor Mysterio” is actually about a man who has a computerized gem stone in his stomach that’s been giving him super powers since he was eight years old. Oh, and it was somewhat the Doctor’s fault. The superhero, known as the “Ghost” has the mild mannered day job of being the nanny for Lucy, someone he’s been in love with since elementary school. Oh! And there are invading aliens taking human bodies in full body snatchers style. The Doctor and the Ghost fight the baddies. Yaddy yaddy.

And yes, this is still a Christmas episode. He becomes a superhero at Christmas so it totally counts.

The part I am focusing on here is Lucy’s job as a reporter. She’s an investigative journalist in the standard Lois Lane format to fit with the storyline. Still, her job as a writer adds little touches to her character. There’s the usual “do anything for the story” that comes with being a journalist in television or in films. Yet, the episode includes subtle parts of being a writer such as the taking little notes, using people watching to one’s advantage, and keeping an eye on other news sources. My favorite scene is how she interrogates the Doctor using a squeaky toy, but puts the torture on hold in order to type up some of her story from that night.

And she learns from the Doctor that when sneaking around you should always pack a snack.

Murder She Wrote (A Christmas Secret)

This return to Cabot Cove does not see the usual cavalcade of classic TV and movie actors, but . . . Holy crap! Amy Brenneman! Where’s she been lately? And the step-dad from the Princess Diaries movies? Apparently, this episode is more of a “I know I know that guy from something” episode.

Jessica Fletcher’s beloved Maine town is too close to the ocean to for snow at Christmas apparently, but Christmas is shown through depressing conversations like “this year, with the world in the shape it’s in, Christmas is a hollow promise.” Dude, it’s 1992. You have no idea how out of shape the modern world can be!

Even the murder in this is not even a murder - it’s attempted murder. And it was against Veronica Mars’s mom so stop complaining, fictional characters. The entire mystery is a little convoluted and I’m not going to get into the nitty-gritty of this later season episode. So let’s talk about the writing part.

In truth, this is episode does not show off much of the mystery writing, but Jessica Fletcher’s wide vocabulary and random knowledge do make her a good detective. Is that enough of an explanation? Because honestly, I thought there would be more writing in this. Oh well.

If Winter Comes: Movies about Writing

A break from Poe for a moment due to the passing of Angela Lansbury. Moment of silence for all of our childhoods losing another icon (and yes, there will be another Murder She Wrote blog coming).

If Winter Comes is a melodramatic slog of a film. There. I said it. It was so full of characters pushing their faces together and declaring, “Oh darling” that I should have made it into a drinking game. Here goes the synopsis (in as short a way as I can). People suck and war makes it worse. There.
Very well. I should at least explain why I picked this one. Mark (Walter Pidgeon) is a funny loving and laid back writer of school textbooks. His wife Mabel (Angela Lansbury) is an uptight and traditional housewife attempting to make her place in the tiny town’s society. And Nona (Deborah Kerr) is the adventurous love of Mark’s life who married someone else. Young Janet Leigh plays Effie, a sweet teenage girl who is friends with Mark and gets them both into trouble. There’s a lot of death and town gossip accompanied by swelling music at the appropriate times. Naturally, this was based on a bestselling book. People are suckers for a weepy love story. Oops, did that sound bitter? I guess too much sensationalism make me grumpy. At least there was a good cast.

Anyway, the part I wanted to actually focus on was Mark’s job. He works for a staunchly run publishing company run by Reginald Owen with a very thick walrus-like mustache. While he keeps hinting that he should be made partner after so many years of service, his coworkers and boss are constantly looking for legitimate reasons to fire him. Mark attempts to rework the format of children’s textbooks so they will appeal more to their audience, working in better adjectives and adventure stories. He also writes commentary for the local paper. All of this is ruined by the gossip of a small town.

Warehouse 13 (Nevermore): Movies about Writing

I’m cheating a little with this one, but I love this show so much, how could I not.

Warehouse 13 was a SyFy channel original series about a secret facility which housed objects that had taken on mystical properties based on who had owned them or events the objects had been involved in. A team made up of Pete (Eddie McCliintock), Myka (Joanne Kelly), Claudia (Allison Scagliotti), and Artie (Saul Rubinek) track down the objects before the emotions and magic attached to them wreak havoc.

I say I’m cheating a little because Edgar Allan Poe does not appear in this episode, but it is an episode about writing, but also about the Poe’s own fears and insecurities effecting the world around him even after death.

The bad guy in this season was a former Warehouse agent named MacPherson (Roger Rees) who steals Poe’s notebook and quill in order to threaten the current agents. The threat includes sending one of the artifacts to Myka’s father, a bookshop owner who she’s always had a strained relationship with. A notebook once belonging to Poe infects Myka’s dad with words (literally - ink is moving across his skin and making him sick). Meanwhile, pen once used by Poe overtakes young man at a prep school who starts to use some of Poe’s favorite fictional tortures on his bullies. Since the pen and notebook are connected, all of the teenagers angry actions become the father’s fever dreams. The two objects are filled with Poe’s own paranoia, rage, unrequited love, and feelings of inadequacy.

Spoiler Alert but it’s some good details:


One way to keep her father alive is Myka reading to him from his favorite books. Her mom reveals that her dad wrote a novel, then rewrote it eleven more times. Never being happy with it, he eventually asked his wife to burn the whole thing. Being a woman who understands that a writer might regret this decision someday, she hid the manuscript away. Those are the “words he loves more than any other in the world”.

This episode was all about the idea of “words have power” and an author’s own words can greatly effect how they feel when they hear someone else read them aloud. Even those this is a science fiction show about haunted artifacts, I more believe this reality of a story having the power to save more than in The Notebook. You can keep someone safe or empower them, but you can’t cure Alzheimer's sixty seconds at a time.

As far as the story of the teenage boy is concerned, I think you are supposed assume that Poe’s pen was drawn to him because he was ignored and awkward. I get the sense that Poe probably felt the same at that age.

Beetlejuice (Poe-Pourri): Movies about Writing

This will be a short one, because it’s based on a short one.

Remember the Beetlejuice cartoon? What? You never watched it? My nostalgia riddled mind will tell you it was amazing . . . so probably best not to trust me. All you really need to know is that Lydia and Beetlejuice are friends in the cartoon, there’s no Barbara and Adam, and it had a lot of little kid humor (so. many. burping. jokes.).

Beetlejuice is freaked out one night reading a book of poems Lydia left at his roadhouse in the Netherworld. I don’t know why the ghost lives in a roadhouse, but I digress. Poe shows up at his house with a rapping raven, a literal steamer trunk, and handfuls of cash which he throws around when he cries about Lenore. I didn’t know writer’s got residual check’s in the afterlife?

The greedy Ghost with the Most invites Poe to stay at the roadhouse as he continues his search through the Netherworld for Lenore. Seriously, where is Poe getting all of this moolah? He was never rich in life. Anyway, Lydia comes over to fangirl over the wailing author while Beetlejuice is driven mad in a montage of Poe tales.

Due to this episode airing when I about seven or eight, I thought Lenore had been a real person, not an allegory for the loss of Poe’s wife and other women he loved. I also thought the Masque of the Red Death was a little mask with a runny nose.

Castle (Vampire Weekend): Movies about Writing

So… I’m cheating here. This is not about Edgar Allan Poe it’s an episode of Castle. But it’s Halloween and I’m trying to put off watching that John Cusack movie as long as possible. Also, despite the episode title, no reference to the band is made in this 45 minutes.

For those who don’t know: Castle is about a mystery writer who acts as a consultant to the NYPD. He lives with his mother and teenage daughter. His partner is Detective Kate Beckett who acts as straight man to his Groucho Marx routine.

I love this episode of Castle because it opens with Richard Castle dressed in a “space cowboy” costume, which his daughter points out he wore “like five years ago”. Firefly references rule and if you don’t think so then . . . well, you’re wrong. Alexis is reading the Pit and Pendulum (which for some reason is novel size. Like a thick novel. Did the prop department not know it was a short story? Why did no one correct them? All they had to do was add “and other Tales” to the fake dust jacket they made. It even looks like they threw an Aubrey Beardsley illustration on the back! Some research must have gone into this so why is that book so big?!

Sorry, sorry. Back to the episode. It’s about modern vampires, people who get augmented teeth and drink blood for funsies. A young man dies with a stake through his heart. Castle and Beckett are led to a deranged man with photo-sensitivity, beautiful drawings of an unsolved murder, and a grieving little sister who they joke might grow up to be a writer or a cop due to the trauma.

Castle has a good little speech about becoming a writer as a way to try and understand the behavior of people, especially the people who would harm someone or something they claim to love.

Anyway - the episode ends with Castle’s annual Halloween party where he dresses up as Edgar Allan Poe complete with a fake raven on his arm. One of the other characters tell him he “throws a great shindig for a 19th century Poet”. You know, I think if Poe ever had the means to throw parties, he would have been good at it.

Masters of Horror (The Black Cat): Movies about Writing

This is a strange one where fact meets fiction. Poe and Virginia (aka Sissie - which he really did call her) live alone with a canary, a fish, and black cat name Pluto (like in Poe’s story “The Black Cat”). A drunken Poe (Jeffrey Combs) is going mad with desperation when Virginia (Elyse Levesque) suddenly contracts tuberculosis. He has difficulty writing between her coughing and Pluto acting out. He removes the cat’s eye when he believes that animal killed the fish and canary.

Shortly after Poe’s act of violence, Virginia dies from a fit and his publisher encourages him to drink in order to get him back on track with the writing. In his deteriorating mind, he becomes convinced that the cat caused his wife’s death and [SPOILER ALERT] kills the cat.

Look at the pretty kitty! I wanna snuggle it’s smug face!

But this is a horror story, so that cannot be the end of it. Oh no. It turns out Virginia is alive! So Poe goes back to drinking. Virginia finds a new Pluto who looks suspiciously like the original. Poe celebrates this new addition to the family by drinking, trying to kill the cat (again), and having a breakdown in front of Virginia where he declares he can’t write or support her. From there the last act gets rather gory and mimics the original short story. But the whole thing does make Poe love the cat and gives him the inspiration he needs to write. In the end, isn’t all the terror worth that?

I feel like this TV special isn’t fair. First, it removes Virginia mom from the story completely and makes Virginia’s illness a quick down slide. More than that - they made Poe cruel to animals! He loved his cat! Her name was Catterina and she would sit on his shoulder while he wrote. My cats only sit with me when I write because they want my chair and they are waiting for me to get up.