James Cagney and Pat O’Brien play Law and Benson, two screenwriters in the studio system with writer’s block. Instead, they hook up a records playing back typewriter sounds while they gallivant around the lots pretending to be disgruntled chorus members and ruining takes of pictures. However, now they are being bullied by a cowboy actor named Larry Toms to write his final contract picture. Toms is not happy with any of this because He didn’t used to need a script, “people came to see his face alone”. Law declares that he used be a novelist and nearly won the Pulitzer Prize, but now is “writing dialogue for a horse”. Cagney so rarely got to be clever and a comedian that this a delightful change.
Law and Benson have amazing energy. They are like a pair of Groundlings improv. performers who just can’t stop. They are wind-up toys with literary skills. They are the cleverest men in the room . . . or at least they think so. Never mind that they have been fired from multiple lots for pranks and shenanigans. The only thing that is serious about them is Mrs. Benson, an unseen character who spends her husband’s money to replace a void from him working all of the time.
Their boss, C. Elliot Friday, tells them he needs something well written. Not “Kipling who’s a good storyteller”, but more of the “greatness” of “Proust”. I should point out that this is the same man who mentions that the wives should start learning languages because it “gives them something to do”. So he’s pompous and sexist. Still, Law and Benson point out that movies have the same great American story: “boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl.”
Enter Susie (Marie Wilson), a young woman who works in the studio commissary and happens to be pregnant. Gasp. Benson and Law are the only ones who instantly want her taken care of and ask to be godfathers. They come up with Toms’s movie story where he’s a cowboy who finds a baby (played by Susie’s baby Happy so she’ll have money for his upbringing) and falls for the mother. Toms objects because babies are scene stealers. Still, the studio head approves and the movie goes forward after Happy is born. Furthermore, Happy is such a hit that he gets a multi-picture deal and Susie goes back to high school.
Spoilers ahead:
Susie is sweet on an English extra Rodney Bowman (Bruce Lester), but Larry Toms starts flirting hoping that Susie married him. Unbeknownst to Susie (but known-est to us), but Toms really just wants legal control over Happy’s career so he doesn’t have to do cowboy-baby films anymore.
Law and Benson want to save Happy and Susie from Toms clutches . . . and so they can keep making money off Happy. They hire Bowman to pretend to be Happy’s father at a movie premiere where - ACK!!! Ronald Reagan! Make the bad man go away!
And as Reagan is always a bad omen, After his scene, things go belly-up for our main characters. Bowman reveals the truth. A measles ridden Happy is fired due to scandal. Benson and Law are fired. Benson’s wife leaves him and Law plans on going to Vermont to write about “real” people He states that it’s going be so real, he won’t even use a typewriter. He’s going to handwrite everything in pencil. Ug. Pencil.
Still, before Benson and Law depart, they ask a friend to send a telegram from London claiming to be a Studio owner wanting to buy the studio they worked for, but only if Happy is on a long term contract. However, Bowman (who it turns out is the younger son of a lord) wants to marry Susie and raise Happy in England. Benson points out that this was realism - “boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl.” The good news is that they get their jobs at the studio back. The bad news is that Benson’s wife doesn’t come back so I’m not sure if he really learned a lesson about putting work first.