Yesterday was Saint Nicholas Day, when the immortal spirit of a Turkish bishop puts toys in kids’ shoes (or if you’re an adult - a Chompie’s Gift Card. Sometimes he’s accompanied by Black Pete, but I’m not going near that tradition. Other times, Krampus tags along in order to punish the naughty.

Whelp. I must’ve pissed Krampus off recently because I woke up to my car not starting, my work drive glitching, and my “lady time” being extra weird. What the hell, Krampus! I thought we were cool, man!