First, for those who’ve never seen this adult cartoon, “American Dad” is another show from the brain of Seth MacFarlene (see “Family Guy” and “The Orville” - Yes! “The Orville”! I like that show okay! I know it’s isn’t Star Trek, but it fills a Star Trek shaped hole left by CBS All Access). It’s about a family whose patriarch is a conservative CIA agent, their goldfish is actually a German man whose brain was swapped, and a drunk alien lives in their attic.

In this episode, Francine, the ditzy wife, writes a noir romance novel entitled The Cobra in the Bag: A Tony Hurt Mystery under the name F.R. Ancine. It’s nominated for “Best Lonely Housewife Detective Novella: Softcore” by the Federation of American Mystery Writers (not a real group, but it leaves me wondering why more official genre groups aren’t called “federations”) and the whole family goes to the Manhattan for the awards ceremony.

While there, husband Stan and daughter Haley are taken on a strange tour of New York by Robert Wuhl (look him up) and son Steve with Alien Roger want to play at their favorite detective personas - Wheels and Legman - thinking it will boost their family. Roger gets this idea when they see that bestselling author, James Patterson is also attending the event with his cardboard cut-out in tow. Then, Francine goes missing after not realizing she’s been insulted by Patterson and excitedly realizing she’s in a literary feud with another housewife writer. By the way, Francine can’t think of a literary feud which shows she’s new to this. Literary feuds are like the cornerstone of the scandalous news stories in online writer magazines. Feuds and lawsuits. Oh. The lawsuits.

Francine is noticed missing when she wins the awards, but isn’t there to accept the award, Wheels and the Legman (a.k.a. Steve and Roger) start their own case to find Francine playing out like a terrible detective television show or, dare I say, terrible novella.

I’ve never been to a mystery writers award show. Therefore, why you may ask, did I choose this episode for this particular blog. Because of he whose name in the bookselling world is often used as a curse, shouted as a fist is raised at the sky.

PATTERSON!