The 2020 graduates are having an adventure and like most adventures it’s unplanned and sucky at the beginning. Some of the kids are the first American high school graduates in their family. Instead of airhorns and bobby-pined caps, they get being gathered around a screen waiting to see their name.

Many are trying to make this disappointment easier with celebrity speeches through Zoom and special events for student body presidents and valedictorians. Yet, there is a section of the population who keep very publicly telling these kids that things could be worse.

Put this adventure of these young people into perspective. Yes. Things could be worse. But this something they worked at for four years. Some while working multiple jobs, taking care of younger siblings, doing community service, temporary homelessness, dealing with family tragedy, and even learning a new language because they are new to this country. Some think teenagers are just whiners, but so many kids in this country have overcome all of the outside crap that children shouldn’t have to deal with in order to have this brief moment of pride.

Be kind to them. Give them a ear for them to vent to. Let them whine and then give them hope. Don’t give them stories of your own graduation to envy or try to cheer them up with your own self-indulgences. This moment is about them and it is for them to work through as they need. Be there for them. Be empathetic and sympathetic. Keep them safe in a time of disappointment. Help to make them smile and let them know that it’s okay to be sad. And most importantly, that this strangeness does not take away from their accomplishments. And this is a temporary situation that they can look back on with a story unique to all other graduates.

And remind them, adventures always start with something disappointing or frightening, but at the end they are the heroes who will have their own stories to tell.