What if Rapunzel Ran out of Toilet Paper

Once upon a time there was a young woman trapped in a tower by the witch she thought was her mother. The tower had no door and the only way the witch went in or out was by calling for the young woman to throw down her long, luxurious hair.

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!”

And the young woman would throw down her well-conditioned locks which went from the high window nearly to the ground below so her witch-mother could climb up. Everything Rapunzel had came from her mother who never let her go out into the world on her own. All of her food, soap, toothpaste, clothes, and gallons of shampoo only arrived when her mother came to see her each week.

Then, one day Rapunzel realized that she used her final roll of toilet paper. As she desperately searched the tower, Rapunzel realized that it would be three days before her mother would come with more supplies. Her stomach churned from her heavy dinner from that night-

…You know what. Never mind. This is hitting too close to home. Send T.P.