Welcome to the annual Best in Dragon Show! I’m your host, Alistair Fizzibottom, here to give you a full play by play of the competition this year. And as always, this year’s competition is sponsored by Viking Hordes. Remember, nothing says conquest like a Viking brand Horde.

Oh, it looks like the competition is under way.

Our first contestant is Glitter, a great serpent. Gorgeous scales, but the animal seems a little sluggish. Oh! The owner should not tug on the leash like that— And yep, yep. Glitter jut ate her owner and went to sleep. The judges have declared her disqualified.

Next we see in the same category Hopper the sea serpent. Although Hopper shows excellent color and barnacle to flipper ratio, I know the judges will not be happy about that leftover yacht still in Hopper’s teeth. Looks like Hopper’s owner forgot the floss.

Put out a few extra bowls of kibble, here comes Gail the hydra! At fourteen feet high and seven heads, it might be hard to beat this beautiful specimen. Oh, wait. It looks like two heads have not fully grown back in. That is gonna cost a lot of points.

Here comes the great bearded dragon from Southest China. What a gorgeous, graceful specimen of the golden variety. Oooooo. Ouch. His name is Chop Suey. That just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Owners should lose points for that one. Can we all agree that no one would be sorry to see this dragon eat his owner?

Now there is a breed you do not see everyday. A genuine well-dwelling Lindwyrn. Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on this rare treat. Apparently, her name is Marigold and she is only four hundred years old. She’s practically a baby! Look at those judges stare. She might have this competition won.

Wait, wait. Here he comes! Our reigning champion, fifty-two years running – Mr. Twinkles the green drake! Looks like his claws and wings have been polished for the event. Such a majestic creature. And those hindquarters! Mr. Twinkles has one of the best physiques of any dragon here today. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, he’s coming to the announcer booth. Hey there, fella. You wanna treat. Those are some big teeth you ha—