I’ll begin with my credentials on this subject – I’m a ghost. Don’t believe me? Look out your window and — Boo!

Did you actually think I would be there? Did you think that ghosts can just appear wherever like in a cheesy horror movie? Oy.

And that brings me to the purpose of this blog. I am going to set the record straight about ghosts with 3 simple facts. Hopefully these facts will stop ghost hunters from disrespecting our rest and using us for ratings on bad T.V. shows.

1) Ghosts can’t fly or float around at will like a certain fictional character in a red cape. If we are floating around, it’s because we are focused too much on being dead and forgetting to put our feet on the ground. What could possibly cause us to focus on our deaths? Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a film crew and their idiot host wandering through our homes and cemeteries, calling us out! Yes, we can hear you. You are loud.

2) Ghosts can manipulate electrical equipment. We don’t have much to do throughout our long, sleepless days so we mess with your lights, your computers, and your coffee maker. Sooooo much fun watching people swear at their coffee makers. And you all blame this on wiring or gremlins. Give credit where credit is due! We work hard to make our afterlives more interesting.

3) Ghosts can forget. Our lives can slip away from us. Some people have no memories at all left, just emotions, including bitterness and aggression. So, stop asking us stupid questions we don’t know the answer to. If you asked three times, “How did you die?” and we don’t answer, chances are that we don’t know either. Keep asking an angry ghost the same question over and over, guess what. You might end up with a new poltergeist for a roommate.

And there is it. What to remember to be respectful to a ghost, from a ghost. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.